the ultimate horror

Do any of y'all remember when I wrote this:

He chose to tell me, his clinically arachnaphobic wife, that pregnant spiders can basically explode into a billion baby spiders if you step on them. That they carry them on their backs, and if you step on the mama spider, you won't kill the baby spiders and they'll crawl all over you.

Um, yeah. It happened. Last night. In my living room. And it was the worst thing ever. Well, they didn't "crawl all over" me, but like a billion tiny black dots were crawling all over my living room floor. And it was the worst thing ever.

I've made fun of Drew for several years for the way he chooses to remove spiders from our home. He says they're useful, and that they kill other bugs. He basically picks them up, whispers an inspirational message in their ears, kisses them on the forehead, and then carries them outside on a silk pillow. I say that when they come in my house, their evolutionary purpose disappears. I prefer the "have shoe, will murder" method.

I have now completely changed my mind. Drew, you were right.