Thursday, September 25, 2008

the ultimate horror

Do any of y'all remember when I wrote this:
He chose to tell me, his clinically arachnaphobic wife, that pregnant spiders can basically explode into a billion baby spiders if you step on them. That they carry them on their backs, and if you step on the mama spider, you won't kill the baby spiders and they'll crawl all over you.
Um, yeah. It happened. Last night. In my living room. And it was the worst thing ever. Well, they didn't "crawl all over" me, but like a billion tiny black dots were crawling all over my living room floor. And it was the worst thing ever.

I've made fun of Drew for several years for the way he chooses to remove spiders from our home. He says they're useful, and that they kill other bugs. He basically picks them up, whispers an inspirational message in their ears, kisses them on the forehead, and then carries them outside on a silk pillow. I say that when they come in my house, their evolutionary purpose disappears. I prefer the "have shoe, will murder" method.

I have now completely changed my mind. Drew, you were right.

9 comments:

Dr. Wifey said...

ugh! that gives me the heebie-jeebies! that happened to me once too, but there is NO way i am picking up a spider and setting it free to come right back inside my house

i'm black betty said...

kudos to drew, but i ain't picking up no damn spider. the shoe method is the only way to go.

poor you!!! i would have peed myself, tripped over some toys, while falling onto my meaty a** and breaking the coffee. henh.

i'm black betty said...

table...

From the Doghouse said...

Just think of all the little spiders living in every crack and crevice of your home. Like your shoes, your favorite coffee cup ...

One big happy family.

mayberry said...

O M G. I'm going to feel stuff crawling on me all day.

BUUHHHUHH!

Jo said...

Uh... what happened to Prince Dyson?

Sandi said...

Girl, that happened to me one time too! I don't know what kind of spiders they were but I was like a fast-motion killing machine!
[shudder]

Doghouse, that was just evil.

Jen said...

ewwwwwwwwwwww! I hate SPIDERS! Forget it, they are DEAD! I killed a black widow spider yesterday that was hiding under one of my flower pots. I had a nightmare last night about that damn spider & at the end, I was a little girl sitting at my desk writing lines. I killed a black widow, I killed a black widow, I killed a black widow, I killed a black widow, I killed a black widow.

I need medication. LOL

RingoWolf said...

Black Widows ... DEAD!
Those big brown spiders ... DEAD!
Those big yellow ones ... they stay outside so they live per tready.

Little black jumping ones ... live (sometimes played with)