Thursday, December 06, 2012

The morning after.

I'm 32.  I own my own company.  I have a 6-year-old son.  I'm happily married to a wonderful man who makes a very good living.  I have a nice house, a maid, a lawn man, 2 cars, lots of money in investments and very little debt.  And I just took the morning-after pill because a pregnancy would ruin my life.

I don't mean that a pregnancy would be an inconvenience, although it certainly would.  I mean that I am, for a number of different reasons, physically and mentally incapable of carrying a pregnancy to term.  I had a procedure done in October that will permanently sterilize me but it's not fully effective until January, and the nature of the procedure means chances of having an ectopic pregnancy at this point are astronomical.  I cannot, cannot, cannot endure another ectopic pregnancy.

Two years ago I was solidly anti-abortion.  I thought the morning-after pill was murder.  But last night, my husband and I were irresponsible for the first and only time in our nearly 12-year marriage.  (Who has never been?)  We have never once had unprotected sex unless we were trying to have a baby, and we were supposed to use protection until I have a test in January to ensure that my sterilization procedure worked.  I have thankfully been educated about the morning-after pill and know that its primary effects are the same as the regular birth control pill, with a tertiary and very unlikely effect of preventing a fertilized egg from implanting, just like any other hormonal birth control.

I'm intensely grateful for 4 things:
1)  That I was easily able to afford the $45 I had to spend on it.
2)  That I was able to find it at a pharmacy 3 miles from my house.
3)  That I didn't encounter any negative attitudes about it at the pharmacy.  In fact, when I expressed surprise at the $45 price tag, the girl behind the counter said "It'll be worth it, though, right?"  (I suppressed a "F*** YEAH!!")
4)  That because of the morning-after pill, I won't have to suffer a major consequence of a minor mistake.  Yes, my husband and I were irresponsible.  But it was ONE oversight in 12 years of marriage and we shouldn't have to pay for that with a pregnancy that would be absolutely catastrophic for our family.

Taking the pill was definitely surreal, though, given what my attitude about it was 2 years ago.  But now I'm wondering - what about the woman who isn't so privileged?  $45 doesn't mean much to me, but for some women, it means a week's worth of food for their family.  And I had to call two pharmacies to find it, how many women can't find it at all?  Or encounter negative opinions from their pharmacy staff?

What can I do about this?  I'm going to find out.


Cassandra Hawkins-Wilson said...

I have taken it as well. I took it while I was still married. I felt so, hmmm, but needless to say, it did work. I know what you mean!!

Ames said...

You are awesome and brave and I love you lady.