Restructuring

I've been feeling a little lately since Ace's Asperger's diagnosis and with all the issues he has in school that I've been deluding myself thinking I could have a career with the level of care Ace requires.  My business has virtually stalled since the beginning of the school year because dealing with Ace just completely saps my energy and I have none left to devote to work.  There's probably a little depression happening, but I'm taking care of that as well as I can.

I have all the connections right now to jump-start my business and get a full client load if I could just get it off the ground.  I know all the best chefs/restaurateurs in Jackson.  A few of them are already my clients; I already run their social media for barter.  The best salon in Jackson, too.  If anyone knows how to effectively network, it's me.

But if I get a full client load, it'll be a full-time job.  I control the amount of clients I get and could make it just a part-time job if I wanted to, but that's still more time than I have to devote to this business and still be available for all of Ace's needs as they arise.  I COULD hire a nanny, but *I* want to be the one who takes him to all his doctor's appointments, not to mention all the research I do and the possibility of going out of state for his appointments.  Plus, a nanny for a child with special needs?  One with extreme behavioral issues?  I'd need more than one full-time job.  I can't pay for a nanny's happy pills too.

The thought of giving up on my dream was kicking my butt.  I've already come so far with it; to give it up would be heartbreaking.

Then last night the thought occurred to me: freelance consulting.  If I can't run your social media, I'll tell you how to do it.  Consultation was already in my pricing structure and I already know how I'd do it.  That'd be roughly a week's worth of work, but small bursts of work that could happen at anytime, anywhere.  Eventually, I'd like to hire someone (or someones) to actually run social media, but that's pretty far down the line.

I wouldn't make nearly as much money but I wasn't doing this for money anyway.  And it'll be so much simpler than the amount of work it was going to take to run a company's social media.

There's a lot to do.  But I'm getting this up and running.  I'm not going to martyr myself on the altar of motherhood - I can have a career and a child with special needs.  I can pursue my passion and be the mother Ace deserves.  Just have to figure out how.