Friday, October 16, 2009

The message

Last week, October 6th, was the one-year anniversary of the death of my baby girl. I miss her so very much, and wonder often what it would be like if she were here.

I took Ace to school that day, then got my hair cut, then went to see my therapist. I told her I'd planned to get Ace from school, get him into bed, then start writing in my journal. Above all, I planned on not eating emotionally at all. I just do not want to get back into that cycle anymore. It's so tempting just to eat to relieve the pain, but I ain't doing it.

So I got my little boy from school, got him home, cuddled his socks off, got him into bed, and went into my bedroom and sat in my big comfy chair and started writing a letter to my daughter. I told her everything I was feeling and told her that I miss her, and wrote all about how I thought she would be. I had an annoying Veggietales song running through my head that was distracting me, so I turned on my iPod and sat it down next to me.

When I was finally finished writing, I started to think about the song I associate with my other daughter (Love Song by Third Day), and kinda wished I had a song for my youngest. I sat back, hugged my pillow, and began to pray.

The next song that came on my iPod was One Sweet Day by Mariah Carey and Boyz II Men.

My baby sent me a message. I sat and listened to that song several times and cried my eyes out. She likes early 90's ballads, and she sent me a message.

The lyrics:

Sorry, I never told you, all I wanted to say.
Now it's too late to hold you.
Cause you've flown away, so far away.

Never, had I imagined, yeah, living without your smile.
Feelin' and knowing you hear me.
It keeps me alive. Alive!

And I know you're shining down on me from Heaven,
Like so many friends we've lost along the way,
And I know eventually we'll be together.
One sweet day.

Picture a little scene from Heaven.

Darling, I never showed you.
Assumed you'd always be there.
I took your presence for granted.
But I always cared
And I miss the love we shared.

And I know you're shining down on me from Heaven.
Like so many friends we've lost along the way.
And I know eventually we'll be together.
One sweet day.

Picture a little scene from Heaven.

Although, the sun will never shine the same, I'll
always look to a brighter day.

Yeah, Lord, I know, when I lay me down to sleep,
You'll always listen, as I pray!

And I know you're shining down on me from Heaven,
Like so many friends we've lost along the way,
And I know eventually we'll be together.
One sweet day.

And I know you're shining down on me from Heaven,
Like so many friends we've lost along the way,
And I know eventually we'll be together.
One sweet day.

Sorry, I Never told you, all I wanted to say

I miss you, baby girl. I will hold you one sweet day.

10 comments:

Jo said...

Yeah, thanks for making me cry!

What an awesome story, Stacey! She knew you needed that. How sweet to be SO loved by your angel :)

**hugs**

Paula said...

{hugs}

That's the song that helped up through losing my mother-in-law 13 years ago. We played it at her funeral. Your angel baby must have known that you needed to hear those words that day.

Dr. Wifey said...

truly awesome! *hugs*

RhondaLue said...

that's absolutely beautiful.

dhcoop said...

Beautiful! ((((Stacey))))

Nicole Bradshaw said...

Love you. Mean it.

Allison said...

Love you my friend.

Katy said...

Tearing up over here.

What a great message to receive and just when you needed it.

i'm black betty said...

(((HUGS)))

love you, sweetie.

Mommy Housewife said...

((((((big hug))))))