For saleFree to good homeFree to abusive home filled with cat-hating future serial killers as childrenI'll give you
$5 $20 $100 if you take
and put into a wood chipper:
SweetLovingEnjoyableFreaking obnoxiousAnnoyingUglyGrey
DemonA-holeChild-hating Nazi sympathizercat.
He is
the worst cat in the known universe killing his owner's sanity the very spawn of Satan a spiteful, ugly beast a... grey cat.
His favorite activities include:
worshiping at the altar of his father, Beelzebub playing with toys meowing incessantly outside the door while his owners are trying to watch a movie, poop, sleep, eat supper, take baths, or simply relax and then running away the second you open the door to let him in meowing incessantly at the door, then 2 minutes after you let him out turning around and meowing to be let back in meowing outside your bedroom window at 2 in the morning so you'll let him back in, THEN RUNNING AWAY WHEN YOU GROGGILY OPEN THE FRONT DOOR sleeping, eating, and pooping.
Ownership must take place immediately
because I swear, if there is ever a wood chipper in my front yard it will take wild horses, a Valium, and strong burly men to keep me from putting him in it.
Please email me ASAP.
10 comments:
Perhaps you should install a kitty door so that he can come and go as he wishes. They make them now that are radio controlled and the cat wears a collar that will activate the door so that raccoons, skunks, opossums, or strange cats can't come in.
I don't have the doors for that.
BEST.BLOG.POST.EVER.
You should send this in to one of the night shows or something.
ROTFLMAO!
This is why I love you.
This is one, of many, reasons why I don't have cats. lol! You can't drop him off out in the country? NOT THAT I'D EVER SUGGEST THAT.
I. hate. cats.
Find a shelter, give no reason for the surrending of the animal and hope that some other sucker adopts it.
I love you. That is all.
too bad there isn't a "like" button. lol
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