Thursday, September 17, 2009

The worst part

So y'all know that as part of my treatment earlier this year, I started a healthy, balanced diet. I eat all my fruits and veggies and whole grains and all the appropriate fats and yada yada yada. I get a lot of really good fiber. You know what the worst part about that is?

Pooping takes no time at all. Seriously, I'm in and out of the bathroom in like 3 minutes, and that includes counting to 20 while I thoroughly wash my hands.

I *like* a little time on the toilet. Finish a few chapters of a book, read a story in Reader's Digest (heh, digest), contemplate the meaning of life, etc. Now I hardly have enough time to read one of the funnies on the Life In These United States page.

It's also why I'm not blogging more. Believe it or not, quite a bit of my blog inspiration has come while I was pooping. Conversely, I Twitter a lot more, since my streamlined pooping process allows for only 140 characters' worth of inspiration.

So, if you want me to blog more, send me cheese. I'm allowed roughly 5 ounces of cheese per day, more if I count my cheese as fat, and I would like to blog more. Thank you.

12 comments:

EyeDropp3r said...

http://www.zazzle.com/shitter_twitter_tshirt-235460285570911023

Sharon said...

LMAO!!

I eat a lot of fiber, too. My dh is amazed at how fast of a pooper I am.

I LOVE that you have shared this on your blog.
Finally someone I can relate with!

Crawdaddy79 said...

Cousin.

Cousin.


... Cousin.

You are pushing too hard. If you aren't pushing hard, but instead it's "just falling out", then it's because your sphincter is weak. I suggest by-the-half-hour exercises for two weeks, and then daily thereafter for maintenance. To make it easy, think about the guys you pursued in your adolescent years while you exercise.

On a sidenote, "branon" is the word verification necessary for me to post. I thought that was neat.

HEATHER said...

BWHAHAHAHA!!
You're a hoot!

i'm black betty said...

so, you want cheese? guess that's what your getting for christmas then...cause i'm ready for some blogs. :)

pepperjack, cheddar, american???? what beez yo pleasure???

Allison said...

Well.....

Um......

Thanks for the insight!

I'll start checking into cheese of the month clubs.

What?! said...

personally, at work we gots an airline sized wassercloset, and I love that it's under 3 minutes. I'll send some cheese yo way...

parrotmom said...

Oh my!! you have left me speechless!!!! IBS is no fun either other than I would have time to blog. LOL!!!

Watercolor said...

hahahahaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!

I always wondered why reading material was needed in the bathroom. lol!

Mommy Housewife said...

ya know, chase has noticed i've been spending a lot less time in the bathroom too! i too have changed my way of living/eating/etc. i haven't played the bathroom DS (brainage) in about a month now. lol we all have our weird habits, yes.

Jen said...

Ha ha you are not right!

i'm black betty said...

uh, eat some cheese. i need a blog to read, m-kay?