Rocky's little brother, Ace Balboa

So Thursday night, I let Ace play in a little inflatable pool in the backyard. He freakin' loves that thing. After I got him out of the pool, I didn't notice anything wrong with him, but when we got him in the bathtub, this is how he looked:






















Poor kid took a few mosquito bites to the eye. There's one right on his eyebrow, and one on the corner of his eyelid. I dosed him up with Benadryl and sent him to bed. When I went to get him on Friday morning, I thought he was still sleeping. Oh no. His eye looked like this:





















Could not believe it. I took him to physical therapy, where a couple of old ladies whipped me into a frenzy over West Nile in his eye and HE COULD LOSE HIS EYE OVER THIS, so I called the doctor who said that his eye swelling shut was fairly standard when a kid takes a couple of mosquito bites to the eye. I relaxed, slightly, but then later that morning when his eye puffed up to this:





















I decided I'd go ahead and take him to the doctor. In fact, I was practically forced to the doctor with pitchforks and torches by the other ladies in my play group (I love y'all). But seriously, that looked really, really bad. The pictures don't do it justice. Kid had a golf ball stuck under his eyelid.

The doctor took one look at him and was all "Wow, I'm glad your mama decided to bring you in! I can't tell over the phone how bad these things are!" She gave me a couple of sample bottles of Allegra, gave him a steroid shot, and gave me a prescription for antibiotics in case it started to look infected. "If it looks infected," she said, "take him to the after hours clinic."

Last night, it started looking more red, he started running a fever, and DID I MENTION THE GREEN GOOP? I don't reckon I did. GREEN GOOP.

Shortly after crapping myself, I called the after-hours clinic. I researched what glass eyes would look best while waiting for the nurse to call me back. I thought about how freaking cool Ace would look with an eyepatch. He's already got the swagger and the bad attitude, it's only one more quick step to becoming a pirate. Just a little more practice with pillaging and plundering.

The nurse called back and was all "CHILL OUT, SON." She told me to go ahead and start using the antibiotics, and when she realized that I had whipped myself into an insane frenzy, she said "if it'll help you sleep better tonight, take him to the ER. But they're just going to give him antibiotics." My terror was replaced by indignation, and I thanked her and bid her good evening.

Still, I figured she would've told me to go to the ER if I needed to, so I trusted her judgment and gave him some antibiotics and some more Benadryl.

Here's my little pirate this morning.





















The swelling has gone down some, but the redness has spread. I reckon it is infected. Since I'm *that* mom, I'll probably call the doctor at some point today to make sure I don't need to see them.

In the meantime, since he looks so freaking pathetic, I have spoiled his little keester off. If I MUST tell him no, I can't look at him while I'm doing it. He had some of his favorite food yesterday, and like 7 little cookies for dessert. I asked him what he wanted for breakfast this morning and he said "Cheerios and cranberries, please." My little health nut pirate.

I will set fire to any and every mosquito I see for the rest of my life. I will start carrying a lighter just for this purpose, just in case one of those mosquitos I set on fire was, in fact, the one that did this to my baby. I will buy every zapper and fog that Home Depot has to offer. I will light a ring of citronella candle fire around the pool if he's in it.

I will have my revenge.