You know what this feels like?
It feels like there's a hurricane in the Gulf, headed straight this way. You know it's affected a lot of people before you, but you don't know if it's going to affect you the same way. You know it's going to be horrible, and you know it's going to cause a lot of damage and pain. You know that it's going to be horrible even after the storm is over. You're watching it on the screen. The anticipation is absolutely maddening, because you just don't know the future, but you know it's going to be very, very bad.
And it's starting to rain.
God has decided that I should let things run their natural course, and I'm pretty glad He made that decision for me. I started cramping rhythmically in a way that's painfully reminiscent of labor, and I've started spotting. I know it's going to get so much worse, but I don't know how bad. When I saw earlier that I'd started spotting, the hurricane analogy really did come into my head. It was like the first signs of rain before a hurricane. It's starting. It's gonna get bad. It's gonna BE bad. And nothing afterward is going to be okay for a while.
This too shall pass. This too shall pass. This too shall pass. This too shall pass.
3 weeks ago