Monday, October 06, 2008

feh

My snazzy new iPhone has been blowing up all day with calls, texts, emails, and blog comments from y'all and lots of other folks. Gotta say, it's really, really nice to know so many people would "do anything" to help me feel better, and since I know I'd do anything for any of y'all, I know it's the truth. Some seriously awesome people love me, and I love the hell out of y'all.

Um, I'm not too proud to accept Reese's Peanut Butter Cups. Or just good ol' cookies. Really, chocolate. Just so y'all know. Because I'm apparently too passive-aggressive to ask for them.

I have some decisions to make. I can miscarry naturally and go in for checks to make sure my hormone level is going down. I can get a drug that will cause me to miscarry quicker. I can get a D&C. I'm really stuck between door #1 and door #3. Letting things run their natural course would be the least intervention and I'd get to spend a little more time with my baby, but it's apparently fairly painful (I've been given drugs) and would really draw this process out over a couple of weeks. I don't want to wait a couple of weeks. A D&C is a surgery, which has it's own risks, but it'd make things go a lot faster. Luckily, I don't have to make this decision right this minute. My regular OB/GYN was out today and since she knows me so well, I left a note for her to call me. She knows me very well and will hopefully help me make the right decision for me.

October is not a good month for me. I lost my first baby on October 21st, 4 years ago. At least today I shirked the feminist independence I held so dear 4 years ago and made Drew come with me in case Something Happened. My mom showed up a couple minutes after the ultrasound. They've been with me all day.

feh.

If ever there was a day that my New Orleans Saints needed to win...

20 comments:

Sharon said...

Gosh Stacey, I am crying with ya. I hate that this has happened to you all. Again.

E-mail me your address if you're comfortable w/ it so I can send you a package.

When I miscarried, I was scheduled for a d&c. That morning-4 hours before surgery-I wound up going into labor on my own, passing the baby at home. In one way I wish I had just made it to the hospital, because being aware of what was happening physically was terrifying and I was not prepared for it. (who ever is?) I can honestly say that the emotional/mental pain far outweighs the physical pain.

On the other side, it was a plus to having the baby naturally, because we got to see her body and get pictures. Had I gone in for the d&c alone, she would have not been whole for us to see, according to my doctor.

I know this is not an easy decision. My thought and prayers are with you. I am so so sorry.
If you have any questions about either, feel free to ask. I don't mind sharing my experience. (I didn't deliver in full at home-I had to still have a d&c to remove the placenta and remaining tissue).

Hugs, babe.

Amanda Wells said...

Stacey,
Just know you're in my prayers. I can't begin to imagine what you're going through. I'll be thinking about you.

On a brighter note, I loved watching the videos of Ace. I can tell how much of a joy he is.

Hug him lots!

Jen said...

Girl, I have had a pit in my stomach all day with your name on it. IT SUCKS. Period.

I have done it naturally at home & had a D&C..Both are shitty, you will make the decision that best suits you & your physical & emotional capability. Good Luck with your decisions..

You will continue to be in my thoughts & my prayers. Hug the Ace-man tightly :)

Much love...

shiksa said...

Lots of love, thoughts and prayers coming your way from the Northland. I sure wish there were a magic wand in my hotel kitchen because I'd be waving that thing something fierce.

i'm black betty said...

chocolate, huh? oh, i got yo chocolate, girl. see ya soon...

love YOU!

Susan said...

What a difficult thing to have to decide. Love you, honey. There's no making it better, but I'm glad you have family surrounding you.

RhondaLue said...

I had a D&C when my baby showed up with no heartbeat and I was already bleeding some. It was a procedure but I felt fine and went home a lil sleepy a couple hours later. I was ok after that, just sad.

Alice said...

....love you guys....you're in our thoughts and prayers!

mayberry said...

Been praying for you and thinking of you and hurting for you. It's amazing how much I care about somebody I've never even seen in person.

grammargirl said...

Stacey, unfortunately I've had enough miscarriages to do each of the options once. I'm glad to see that you are not leaning toward the drug-induced miscarriage. It was not that painful, but it seemed to drag on and on. With my first miscarriage, I was already spotting, so we (my doctor, husband and I) opted to just wait it out. I do not remember much pain, but it may have been eclipsed by the emotional pain. I had a D&C with the second one, and I had no problems at all physically. It was certainly, let's see how I can put this tactfully---tidier. It doesn't do anything to straigten out the emotions, but at least the physical part is easier to handle, in my opinion. Your doctor will be a huge help. Prayers continuing for you and Drew. Please call or email if you want to.

From the Doghouse said...

Time to get some Reese's.

And the Saints couldn't even do their part.

grammargirl said...

That would be "straighten."

Melinda said...

So, so sorry you have to make this decision.

Sandi said...

You want chocolate? You got chocolate. And cookies. Give me a call. :)

clstigger said...

Hey Stacey were you at the Chick-fil-a at Dogwood this morning? I went through the drive thru and thought I saw you sitting inside on your phone.

Stacey said...

That was me, clstigger! Their breakfast isn't that great...

clstigger said...

I should have came in and said hello. But I was trying not to be any later at work. Said a little prayer this morning for you and another friend that I found out yesterday had a micarriage.

Stacey said...

grammargirl - will you e-mail me at brast_smboo@yahoo.com? I seem to have misplaced your e-mail address...

Erin Steele (previously Domeyer) said...

Sorry you have to make this decision..both options suck.you have to decide which sucks less! I pray for you every day! I have never been through this so i dont have any wisdom to give you like some of the others...i would lean towards what sharron said about option 1...it is more natural and gentler on the baby..but you need to decide what is best for you and your family! I pray this month ends quickly for you!

Jo said...

What the heck happened to my comment?

I am so SO sorry Stacey. I know words can't help. I hope the days are gentle and you find peace in whatever you decide to do.

Big hugs to you and Drew!