Memorandum

To the dude from central Michigan who has called me a total of 9 times this morning, including 3 times before 5am:

DO I SOUND LIKE A JULIO TO YOU, MORON? When I told you "wrong number" for the 80th time in my cranky, annoyed, tired, suburban housewife affect, what part of that exchange made you think "Well, gosh, she must actually be Julio. I'll call again later"??? When I jogged every memory of my 11th grade Spanish class and told you "wrong number" (actually, I believe I said "bad number"), did I pronounce it wrong and say "Yep, this is Julio, but I'm busy right now, call me again in a couple of minutes. Then again in another couple of minutes. Then shortly after that"?

Call me again and I'll stalk you.

Sincerely,
The girl who can't turn her phone off because she uses it as an alarm clock.