Monday, October 09, 2006

Suggested name changes

Belk's women's section should be called "Today's Old Woman" instead of "Today's Woman." I've never seen a more horrifying array of ugly clothes in my life. I know for a fact that they have awesome clothes for the thinner ladies, as I've been shopping there countless times with my mom and sister. But holy moly. If you're brave, the next time you're in there, check out the women's section.

Lane Bryant should rename itself "Clothes for Rich Fatties" or "We Know You, The Fashion-Conscious Fatty, Have Very Little Choice As To Where You Shop, So We're Going To Charge You $40 For A Shirt, Which Basically Makes You Our You-Know-What." Good thing I had a coupon.

Kohls' women's section should be renamed "Buy These, the Most Uninteresting Clothes One Could Ever Lay One's Eyes On." (I love Kohls' professional outfits, and they have pretty great stuff for normal-sized women, but for casual wear... snooooze.)

So the shirt I bought at Lane Bry... I mean Clothes for Rich Fatties is TOTALLY PERFECT. I mean, I couldn't have asked for a better shirt, and I'm so pleased. Even though I'm Lane Bryant's you-know-what. Now I have to decide what shoes to wear. Wish me luck.

3 comments:

Lauren said...

Amen, Sister Stacey! Amen!

erindomeyer2000 said...

Do you ever shop at Old Navy. Many times they have really nice everyday, casual and sometimes even dressy clothes. All at a reasonable price. My problem is they think someone my size should be wearing jeans that are either low or ultra low when neither one of those options are belly fat friendly. I prefer something to suck in that extra baby fat that i should have lost ooooo three years ago after i had my baby. Any you are right about lane bryant. I went in their saw the prices and walked right back out. I shop at "platos closet" the second hand brand name store here and they have lane bryant at a much more reasonable price. I guess i am a little cheap when it comes to my clothes. Once you have a child it all seems to head their way.

cncz said...

Can I complain here? You know what sucks about Lane Bryant? Not enough stuff in 14. And then even Lane Bryant falls into the same trap as the Gap and others, thinking that fat people are necessarily tall. No, I am fat and short, and I do not think it is too much to ask for a pair of pants with a 30 inch inseam whose crotch does not hang low like MC hammer pants because the designers just chopped three inches off of the bottom of a pattern for tall people. I want to design clothing for people who are in that nothing fits at any store for fat or skinny people area of sizes 12-20 and who also happen to be under 5'6''. This said as I trot off to work with my cords rolled up THREE INCHES.