I just realized... between my heightened temper because of my lack of sleep and a pending visit to The Barbara (my mother-in-law, for you non-regular-readers), this could be a really horrible weekend indeed. Very few people in my life inspire aggravation in me like The Barbara. Maybe it's best that I drop Drew and Ace off in Slidell on Friday and make my merry way to Metairie to go shopping. That gift certificate to Restoration Hardware isn't going to spend itself. And that portobello mushroom and goat cheese pizza at Whole Foods (ay, papi) isn't going to eat itself. And dude, Brocato's is back open... I totally have a plan.
I've had major anxiety at the thought of facing The Barbara again. If you've never met her, you couldn't understand. If you've never married or procreated with her only son, the light of her world, the man to whom she has shrines in nearly every room (n'est-ce pas, Emily et Cristi??), there's no way in this world you could understand. If she criticized literally everything I did before (once, I didn't microwave a sandwich long enough for her liking... even though *I* was the one eating the sandwich), I can't imagine what she'll be like when I, who can literally do nothing right, attempt to care for my son in front of her. "You're changing his diaper NOW? You're feeding him with THAT bottle? You dressed him in THAT?"
Yes, folks, I think I have a plan. One concocted in the last 5 minutes, so I have to clear it with Drew.
What am I gonna do when Ace gets older? I want him to spend time with her, but I just can't handle being around her. I'm not a pushover by any means, and in this case, I really wish I could be one. Under the barrage of constant (and I do mean constant) criticism, I just can't help myself - I snap back.
I hope that with age, I'll be able to hold my tongue, because I'll never fight with her in front of Ace. I want him to have the love of all of his grandmas, unimpeded by his strong-willed mother. I would never let her put me down in front of him, or subject him to the crap she's heaped on me, but barring that, I just want him to have a relationship with her. If that means Ace only goes to see her with Drew, that's fine. Mommy's not going camping with him, either, so I guess he'll be okay.
2 weeks ago