How am I supposed to rear a child if I'm so insanely immature? Can I just say that I'm a "child at heart" and go with that?
I love me some keywords provided so graciously by blogpatrol. One of the most recent keywords that some genius used to arrive at my site was "housewife chit on her husband." I'm not sure if the surfer was looking for unfaithful housewives (that phrase alone should get me some hits) or if "chit" is supposed to be the term often used by my dad as an alternative to "the 's' word." (I'll take SWORDS for a thousand, Alex!) Either way, EW! I'm still giggling about it, though. Chit!
("Housewife in flip-flops" shouldn't make you think dirty things. I'm seriously considering changing the name of the site just to avoid the perverted search terms associated with the word "housewife.")
How am I going to not giggle if my kid cusses? Megan used to say "fo-f**k" for fire truck, and no matter how much her mom tried to correct her pronunciation, she said it for a while. I remember once, she said it over and over and over again in front of her great-grandpa, and it took every ounce of strength in me not to lose my mind laughing. Of course, I looked over at Terri, and she had pretty much lost the battle with giggling, so I let 'er rip. Terri tried to recover and reeducate. "FIRE TRUCK, honey, FIRE TRUCK." "FO F**K!" "TRUCK!" "F**K!" There's just something endearing about a toddler yelling "f**k," accident or not.
And flatulence! As y'all know, we are a family that celebrates the art of gas emission, though we know that it's generally unacceptable to do it at the dinner table. At least in public. This can't bode well for my children. I guess I'll have to just accept it when my kid rips a big'n at church and high-fives me.
I'm going to be a good mother. I'm going to be a good mother. I'm going to be a good mother. I'm going to be a good mother. I'm going to be a good mother. I'm going to be a good mother.
1 month ago