Friday, March 24, 2006


How am I supposed to rear a child if I'm so insanely immature? Can I just say that I'm a "child at heart" and go with that?

I love me some keywords provided so graciously by blogpatrol. One of the most recent keywords that some genius used to arrive at my site was "housewife chit on her husband." I'm not sure if the surfer was looking for unfaithful housewives (that phrase alone should get me some hits) or if "chit" is supposed to be the term often used by my dad as an alternative to "the 's' word." (I'll take SWORDS for a thousand, Alex!) Either way, EW! I'm still giggling about it, though. Chit!

("Housewife in flip-flops" shouldn't make you think dirty things. I'm seriously considering changing the name of the site just to avoid the perverted search terms associated with the word "housewife.")

How am I going to not giggle if my kid cusses? Megan used to say "fo-f**k" for fire truck, and no matter how much her mom tried to correct her pronunciation, she said it for a while. I remember once, she said it over and over and over again in front of her great-grandpa, and it took every ounce of strength in me not to lose my mind laughing. Of course, I looked over at Terri, and she had pretty much lost the battle with giggling, so I let 'er rip. Terri tried to recover and reeducate. "FIRE TRUCK, honey, FIRE TRUCK." "FO F**K!" "TRUCK!" "F**K!" There's just something endearing about a toddler yelling "f**k," accident or not.

And flatulence! As y'all know, we are a family that celebrates the art of gas emission, though we know that it's generally unacceptable to do it at the dinner table. At least in public. This can't bode well for my children. I guess I'll have to just accept it when my kid rips a big'n at church and high-fives me.

I'm going to be a good mother. I'm going to be a good mother. I'm going to be a good mother. I'm going to be a good mother. I'm going to be a good mother. I'm going to be a good mother.


javafoofoo said...

Gawd! Paranoia kicks in!! Babe, you're not going to be a good mother, you're going to be a great mother! (And everyone who reads your "controversial site can attest that!)

Speaking of controversial, don't you dare change the name of your blog! Everytime I pay a visit, I can't help but think of my fave story involving some "flip-flops"!! Never change; farts included!


cncz said...

i come from a family of in-laws where my husband stole everyone else's food and my off the chain nephew is their idea of sanity.

that nightmare i keep having about algerians taking my baby away...the more i think about it, the less i am worried. especially if they turn out like samir. at least they will know how to handle it.

Vicki said...

You're gonna be a GREAT momma. Stop frettin'!

Sharon said...

Hey, we celebrate a certain amount of flatulence, too! (sp?) :)
Better to let it out than hold it in!
You'll be a great mom.
Just love them!

Melinda Barton said...

Your child will not high five you after rippin' a big'n. He'll be too busy determining its exact force and velocity. Remember... This is Drew's kid too! You guys will be great parents. So, stop ya worryin'!

fwapah said...

A family that farts together laughs together. Your senses of humor will let your kids learn not to take life so seriously (major lesson that a lot of people miss).

and thanks for making me almost spew diet coke across my keyboard with the swords reference... saber!

Drew said...

One of these days, the boy and I will be watching the episode of "Myth Busters" where they bust the myth that you can suffocate on your own flatulence.