Thursday, March 09, 2006

I done went off the deep end.

Weird, weird dreams last night. Apparently it was a "seeing things" theme in my psyche.

It started out with there being two of Drew. Every time I would hug him, I'd see another Drew behind Drew waving at me. Finally I got annoyed by it. I was hugging Drew in our living room, and I saw him standing on our porch, waving. I walked out the front door, fully frustrated, and asked Drew what he thought he was doing. He bent down and started gardening. My neighbor was outside playing basketball, and I said "Do you see this," pointing at the two Drews, and he said "Lucky you."

I vaguely remember a fashion show at my house, which was also a diner, but this last one is vividly clear.

I was walking around my bathroom, and saw a shadow moving under my floor. I blinked a few times, but finally realized it was a whale. Yes, a whale, swimming around under my house. It jumped out of the water through the tile a few times, until I finally realized that the only way I was protected was on top of a rug, or a bed, or something other than my tile. The whale had grabbed Louie, who of course couldn't make it through the tile into the water because that'd be silly, so I grabbed Louie by the tail and slid him out from under the whale's fin, fully expecting him not to have a head. (Run on sentence alert!) But he was cool, if a little startled. I placed him firmly on the bathmat, trying to figure out how to get both of us out of the bathroom.

My doorbell rang. I went to answer it, and it's this enormously tall basketball player that just wanted a place to sleep for the night. "Sure man," I said, "come on in. Bathroom's here, bedroom's here."

I heard a cat screaming from my room, and ran back, only to see a whale's head wrapped around the lower half of Nimbus' body. I grabbed the top of him, and yanked him up, and saw that he had this huge patch of hair missing and a tiny puncture wound. I threw him out of the bedroom and slammed the door shut. Suddenly, I couldn't see through the floor anymore, and there was no whale. It was like my cats activated my oceantop master bedroom, kinda like Michael Jackson on that sidewalk in "Billie Jean." Back in the living room, Nimbus is licking his wound. I ran back to the bedroom to get dressed, worried about what a terrible hostess I'm being to the basketball player, trying to figure out how to explain to both him and the vet how exactly Nimbus got this wound.

Apparently, that's when I fell asleep in my dream. I woke up this morning about 5 minutes before my alarm clock went off, and started chiding myself for not being at the vet with Nimbus. Then I slowly started to realize that that was a dream, and if Nimbus had indeed been attacked by a whale, surely Drew would have noticed last night and we would have taken him to the vet and I wouldn't have fallen asleep. When I was fully awake, I just started shaking my head. Well, at least I have blog material.

3 comments:

Drew said...

You woke me up at 3 AM, mumbled something, and gave me a hug. Then you went back to sleep.

shiksa said...

I want you to know that I would never think you were a bad hostess for Nimbus getting attacked by a whale.

javafoofoo said...

Instead, you would be seen as a bad pet-owner. ; )