Tuesday, November 08, 2005

Paranoia

I live in an extremely quiet neighborhood. In fact, my house is so quiet, my mom, who lives on 40 acres in the middle of nowhere, comes to mi casa de suburbia for retreat. The only noises are the occasional train horn, a dog every couple of days, and most rare, a child.

Every once in a while, when it is so deafeningly quiet that if I close my eyes, I can imagine myself in space, I think about how much it would scare me if something extremely loud would happen right then, such as a car backfiring or our smoke alarm going off. Isn't that the most paranoid thing you've ever heard? I swear, right after I think that, I beat myself a little for letting my paranoia get to a The Barbara-like level. (The Barbara, of course, being my mother-in-law, who watches the news 24 hours a day - literally - and as a result is paranoid enough to have locked my door behind me when I went outside to GARDEN.)

It's not that hard to scare me, that's the thing. I'm no fun to watch scary movies with, because my histrionics will scare you more than the movie will. In fact, I think the last scary movie I saw in the theater was "What Lies Beneath The Fat Girl When You Scare Her And She Jumps Out Of Her Seat." Oh, and there was this one time my uncle sent me this picture of this dining room set with the caption "What's wrong with this picture?" Well, I set out to studying the picture, looking for something hidden or a chair upside down or something when this ghoulish figure comes screaming out of the centerpiece at me. I was in tears - couldn't even look at my computer for about an hour. Believe me, I sent my uncle a very strongly-worded letter.

I moved here from Main Street in El Segundo - I lived 5 blocks south of one of the busiest airports in the country on one of the busiest streets in the city AND across from a highschool. Now I live in Brandon, Miss'ippi, in a subdivision, nowhere near an airport, highschool, or busy street. It's just so quiet that I can't help but wonder what could go wrong, you know?

Guess I really AM a city girl at heart.

2 comments:

javafoofoo said...

To this day, the best movie I ever saw in a movie theater was "What Lies Beneath."

Thanks so much, Stacey!

shiksa said...

I don't do scary movies because the people who insist that I'll be fine are usually the ones who get mad at me when I start screaming in the theatre, mortifying them so sufficiently they never try to take me to a scary movie again. We won't even talk about the date I had where a clue-free high school boy tried to take me to see 'Spawn.'