Monday, October 10, 2005

I give up.

In the morning, I brush my teeth. During the day, I do not drink sodas, and if I do they're diet. I don't drink tea. I don't eat a bunch of candy. I chew sugar-free gum after I eat. In the evening, I brush, floss, and rinse, without fail. I go to the dentist every 6 months for a cleaning. The dental hygienist that cleaned my teeth said she had never seen teeth as well maintained as mine. She asked if I floss every day, I said yes, and she said she believed me. She's worked there 6 months and never seen teeth as clean as mine. Well done, keep it up.

Will someone explain to me then why I have TWO cavities?!

My husband brushes his teeth twice a day, maybe. He once went a week without brushing his teeth at all because he forgot his toothbrush and apparently they don't have toothbrushes for sale in Sweden. He hardly ever flosses and has had the same bottle of mouthwash on his sink for at least 6 months. It's so old that it's lost all of its color. In the 7 years that I've known him, he's only had 1 cavity. I have one at least every six months - sometimes two - without fail. I'm starting to hate going to the dentist. All he could offer me was some extra-fluoridated toothpaste, a shrug, and an explanation of "Some people just have problems with their teeth." It is just so dignified to cry at the dentist's office.

So, I give up. It takes me a good 10 minutes to do my teeth every night. That's 10 minutes I could be reading or sleeping or exfoliating. I'm just going to swipe my brush over my teeth once - I'm not even going to use an electric toothbrush anymore. I won't even use one with raised bristles - just one with a rectangular head with no bells and certainly no whistles. I'm not going to brush my tongue. I'm not going to floss twice. Shoot - I might just floss once a month. I'm sure not going to rinse. It's clearly not getting me anything but a slightly expedited cleaning.

I hate getting cavities filled, y'all, it hurts so much. First with the stupid shot to numb the gum so they can put another shot in to numb the whole mouth. Then with the stupid shot to numb the whole mouth - that hurts for at least 2 days. Then with the fact that I have sensitive teeth and all the cold air they're slapping all over the place. And all the anxiety... sheesh... but the gas costs a WHOLE lot extra and makes me nauseous.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go drink some Coke, but first I'm going to put some raw sugar in it (you know, the kind that is extra crunchy and gets all good and up in your teeth?). I think I'll also go get some Bubble Yum. I'll be having chocolate chips, peanut brittle, and raw pasta for lunch.

4 comments:

cncz said...

sometimes cavities have to do with you sleeping on your side. that is what supposedly caused mine

javafoofoo said...

My theory is that when one takes too much care, it doesn't give your teeh/mouth a chance to build up an immnunity. Think parent who doesn't allow their child to come within 50 feet of dirt or disenfects every little thing in their home, theri car, their hands, their feet, their hair, etc.

Me, I barely brushe my teeth as a kid, never got a cavity until the tender age of 19. Now I had about 3 more since than.

Than again, i'm could be wrong and your doctor is right. Just suck up and go enjoy your crunchy coke with bubble-yum and peanut brittle on the side!

Vicki said...

Just a thought....imagine how many cavities you will have if you don't go through the dental regimen. Eek!

Lauren said...

Well, some people are gifted with Teflon tooth enamel, and some people are just unlucky. My grandfather, a fastidious and thorough man, had to wear false teeth starting in his late thirties, and I guarantee it wasn't for lack of dental care. A note on the sodas though: it's not the sugar that rots your teeth, it's the acid content. Most sodas, even diet ones, are made with a diluted form of acid (phosphoric, I think?), which is highly corrosive. You might do better with iced tea. Or milk. Helps build strong bones and teeth, right?