LOL

LOL

No, seriously, LOL, y'all are not gonna believe what I just found.

I don't sleep late, like, ever.  And I'm not the kind of person who can lay in bed for hours after I wake up, I immediately get up and make coffee and eat a banana.  This morning I woke up at 5:30 and forced myself to stay in bed until 6:30 because it's Saturday, dammit.  Usually on Saturdays, I drink my coffee, fall down some kind of Internet rabbithole, and laze around all day.

This morning, I fell down a rabbithole that led me to the discovery of "demisexuals."  Demisexuals are self-defined as people who do not form a sexual attraction until they have formed an emotional connection with somebody.  They don't get crushes, they don't fantasize about people, etc.

Now, there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.  Please do not think I'm mocking that, uh, orientation, although I am certainly not like that.  I can think of several friends who are probably this way; they just didn't know there was a label for it.  But in an attempt to force themselves under the LGBTQ umbrella, they have othered themselves as different.  Because life just isn't special unless you feel you're oppressed in some way.

What is making me LOL is finding their "coming out" stories.  These people actually sit their parents down in a we-need-to-talk way and tell their parents that they don't have sex until they're emotionally involved with another person.  I've read several of their "coming out" stories and they are KILLING ME.  They actually TEAR UP when they're coming out to their parents and friends, and I haven't found one yet in which their parents/friends react negatively in any way.

I can imagine Ace sitting me and Drew down one day.

"Mom, Dad, I need to talk to you."
"Okay, buddy, what's up?"
"Well, um, I, uh, I'm afraid to tell you."
"Tell us anything, son, we'll love you no matter what."
"Well, it's just that, um, I can't have sex unless I'm emotionally attracted to somebody."
"..."
"Why aren't you saying anything?"
"Is that really all you needed to talk to us about?"
"Yes."
"Well... okay.  I, uh... are you emotionally attracted to somebody right now?  Do you want to bring him/her over for supper?  Do you need condoms?"
"No, I just wanted to tell you that I'm a demisexual."
"A demis... okay.  I'm gonna do the dishes now.  Unless you also needed to tell me you don't do drugs."

SMH.  I'm gonna go watch Mad Men.