Okay, there are these two specific things that absolutely grate my nerves. They're pretty minor, so they can probably be classified as pet peeves, but I'm a special kind of person who dwells a little on the things she hates. The first one may garner me a sympathetic head nod, but the second may actually lose me both the readers I've gained back since the beginning of the month.
1. I HATE when a business has double doors but only unlocks one of them. Like, the extra second it takes you to unlock the door at the open of business and then lock the door at the close of business will save a hundred people the annoyance of yanking on a locked door like an idiot. And in my case, since it gets on my nerves so much, it'll save me the annoyance of having to tell Twitter and Facebook and now my blog about how annoying your laziness is, SWEET TREE YOGURT IN RIDGELAND, MISSISSIPPI.
Can I get an "amen" on that one? Keep in mind, you're my most loyal blog readers to have stuck with me after nearly a year of absence, and you have at least a little place in your heart for me. Remember that as you read my next pet peeve.
2. I HATE ICE CREAM CAKE. It's not enjoyable ice cream because it's gotta be rock hard enough to stay in a mold so it's gotta be COLD and it's automatic brain freeze. And since it's apparently frozen by liquid nitrogen so it'll maintain its shape, it's too cold to even taste. It's not enjoyable as cake - there's never enough icing, and if you're reading this thinking "well, Stacey, I don't really like icing all that much" then WHY HAVE YOU NOT ASKED A DOCTOR ABOUT YOUR UNFORTUNATE CONDITION? CAKE IS MERELY A DELICIOUS VEHICLE FOR ICING, PEOPLE. Anyway, yeah, on an ice cream cake, there's never enough icing and it's gotta be the soft whipped icing that isn't REAL icing because REAL icing would weigh down the ice cream on an ice cream "cake." And it sucks to be you if you get a center piece of ice cream "cake" because all they have there is a little writing gel WHICH TASTES AWFUL and usually no icing at all. And sometimes, they put the ice cream on top of a slab of REAL cake, so HURRAY for mushy, barely edible REAL cake that has mostly collapsed under the weight of the GLACIER CONFECTION on top of it.
I'm pretty sure ice cream cake annoys me to such an extreme degree because I still follow my meal plan and in order to have a dessert of some sort I have to eliminate the starch from my meal, and by golly if I'm skipping vital nutrients I wanna skip them for something AMAZING. Like the corner piece of a thick piece of chocolate cake iced by a mom who was so fried from planning her child's birthday party that she drank a bottle of Cabernet and was feeling extra generous with the icing. And if OOPS she dropped glass of Cabernet right-side up next to the slab of icin- I mean cake, that would be okay too.
Are you shaking your head in disappointment at my absolute un-Americanness?
Don't get me started on the use of the word "pat" when used as anything but a verb.
2 weeks ago