Friday, November 04, 2011

You know what I hate?

Okay, there are these two specific things that absolutely grate my nerves. They're pretty minor, so they can probably be classified as pet peeves, but I'm a special kind of person who dwells a little on the things she hates. The first one may garner me a sympathetic head nod, but the second may actually lose me both the readers I've gained back since the beginning of the month.

1. I HATE when a business has double doors but only unlocks one of them. Like, the extra second it takes you to unlock the door at the open of business and then lock the door at the close of business will save a hundred people the annoyance of yanking on a locked door like an idiot. And in my case, since it gets on my nerves so much, it'll save me the annoyance of having to tell Twitter and Facebook and now my blog about how annoying your laziness is, SWEET TREE YOGURT IN RIDGELAND, MISSISSIPPI.

Can I get an "amen" on that one? Keep in mind, you're my most loyal blog readers to have stuck with me after nearly a year of absence, and you have at least a little place in your heart for me. Remember that as you read my next pet peeve.

2. I HATE ICE CREAM CAKE. It's not enjoyable ice cream because it's gotta be rock hard enough to stay in a mold so it's gotta be COLD and it's automatic brain freeze. And since it's apparently frozen by liquid nitrogen so it'll maintain its shape, it's too cold to even taste. It's not enjoyable as cake - there's never enough icing, and if you're reading this thinking "well, Stacey, I don't really like icing all that much" then WHY HAVE YOU NOT ASKED A DOCTOR ABOUT YOUR UNFORTUNATE CONDITION? CAKE IS MERELY A DELICIOUS VEHICLE FOR ICING, PEOPLE. Anyway, yeah, on an ice cream cake, there's never enough icing and it's gotta be the soft whipped icing that isn't REAL icing because REAL icing would weigh down the ice cream on an ice cream "cake." And it sucks to be you if you get a center piece of ice cream "cake" because all they have there is a little writing gel WHICH TASTES AWFUL and usually no icing at all. And sometimes, they put the ice cream on top of a slab of REAL cake, so HURRAY for mushy, barely edible REAL cake that has mostly collapsed under the weight of the GLACIER CONFECTION on top of it.

I'm pretty sure ice cream cake annoys me to such an extreme degree because I still follow my meal plan and in order to have a dessert of some sort I have to eliminate the starch from my meal, and by golly if I'm skipping vital nutrients I wanna skip them for something AMAZING. Like the corner piece of a thick piece of chocolate cake iced by a mom who was so fried from planning her child's birthday party that she drank a bottle of Cabernet and was feeling extra generous with the icing. And if OOPS she dropped glass of Cabernet right-side up next to the slab of icin- I mean cake, that would be okay too.

Are you shaking your head in disappointment at my absolute un-Americanness?

Don't get me started on the use of the word "pat" when used as anything but a verb.


Crawdaddy79 said...

Not feeling you on the ice cream cake (eat it slowly, it's better that way).

However, on the double doors, I've taken it upon myself that every time the door doesn't open... to unlock it. The inner seam... er... the part you hit your shoulder on when you walk out has two up/down levers on it, typically. Just flip them, then check the door for opening ability, then ????, then profit.

Sharon said...

I am with you on ice cream cake. I never got what all the hype was about. I DO like putting my ice cream over my cake, though.

Susan said...

Totally with you on both of those. Ice cream cake is, well, just ice cream. It's not cake. And if you have cake, you can have ice cream with it, but if you have ice cream cake, you're just screwed. No thanks. I want that corner piece. And I want it NOW. And for the record, somebody at the bank used to the door thing in our department if they came in early and it made me nuts. I'd always go back and open the second door. Being a bank and all, it required a special key to unlock and only about 3 of us had the key. Another person would unlock a side door and never the front door. Grrr.

Allison said...

I totally agree with the door. And I hate people who put a "pull" or "push" sign ON their doors because it's inevitably just a mind game because the second my eyes reads a sign on the door that says "pull", my brain transfers that message to my hands as "push" and vice versa. I'm studying Psychology so maybe I can figure out if there's a cure for that.

On the ice cream cake, I agree with you on the fact that it's NOT cake. No sirree Bob. Not by a longshot. And whipped icing on anything else BESIDES ice cream cake is disgusting. It's basically some kind of extra sweet whipped cream or some such nonsense. I venture to say there's not a lick of butter in it and everybody knows that the only kind of DECENT icing is BUTTERCREAM icing. And to me, to put ice cream on top of CAKE is an abomination. Like eating a ribeye with ketchup.

Bethany said...

Amen! :o)

And I'm with you on ice cream cake, except the fact that DQ has this awesome cookie/oreo center that is awesome... the rest of the cake is awful (with whipped cream frosting and gel icing), but that cookie layer is worth it all...