Monday, January 18, 2010

Mommy wars

I realized recently that I have a pretty low threshold for what I think makes a good mom. Really, as long as you're not doing your child harm for the long run, I think you're probably a good mom. I don't care if you breastfeed until your kid is 10 or give your child formula. I don't care if you put your kid in day care the day after he/she comes home from the hospital or you spend every waking moment with your child and don't ever leave its side until the day your child goes to college. I don't care if you spank, and I don't care if you do some kind of psychic mind control over your child as your form of discipline. I don't care if you homeschool and I don't care if you send your kid to public school.

What does bother me, however, is a mom who thinks she's better than another mom because she has made different choices for her child. A good mom does what she thinks is best for the entire family for the long term. A bad mom does not. Still, bad moms do exist.

One of them commented this morning on an old blog post, with a comment that just smacked of condescension. Whatever, that's kinda this person's style. What is incredibly laughable is that 99% of this person's comments call my parenting style into question. This person is a bit of an alcoholic so I can usually brush it off as her being halfway through with her nightly box of wine, but this one came in just after 9 this morning, so I will have faith that she wasn't drunk yet.

When you read this blog post, you person that I'm talking about, know that even on my worst day, I am a better mother than you. I spent the night in a mental hospital last year, and on that night, I was a better mother than you. I confronted my demons and continue to do so today; you act as thought your demons don't exist and say that they help you sleep.

I am a better mother than you have ever been. I am a better aunt than you are. I will be a better grandmother than you are. I am, simply, an all around better woman than you are.

I have asked you many, many times not to comment on my blog or otherwise attempt to contact me. I am certain that you were drunk when you received those requests, so I'll forgive you. This is actually the first time I've responded to you in probably 5 years. You'll probably comment on this blog and whiiiiiine about how much I hate you. You'll probably whiiiiiine to everyone around you about how much I hate you. Yeah, I don't hate you. 99% of the time, I don't think about you. When I get 99% of your comments, I delete them (after showing them to a few people who know you and laugh about them right along with me) and don't think about them again. You caught me on a good day today, what can I say?

Please, don't ever call my parenting style into question again, because it is simply laughable from you, and I will never, ever take it into consideration. Taking parenting advice from you would be like taking healthy cooking advice from Paula Dean. Like taking marital advice from Tiger Woods.

So, once again, I'm telling you. Do not comment on my blog. Do not e-mail me. Do not call me. Do not talk to other people about me. After I hit "publish post," I'm going to go right back to ignoring your existence and deleting your sporadic, condescending comments. Do us all a favor and ignore my existence, mkay?

11 comments:

Allison said...

Dude. I hope I am never on your bad side......

GEAUX SAINTS!! REALLY! =)

Wanda M said...

I sort of feel that way about one particular family member :-) Her way is always right and she thinks nothing of pointing it out to everyone. (Her older daughter is perfect, smarter than my children, her house is bigger, her neighborhood is better, her husband is better), her private school is better, etc.) I was worn out from the competition - so I unfriended her on facebook. I speak, I am nice, but I give no details and I just let her now assume that jeff is never home, never helps me, that my children are horrible and will continue to be so in public school. YOU, MY FRIEND - I admire because you have the balls to say it to this person's face or at least where they can read it. Me - just not rockin' the family boat - unless she just plain pisses me off in the future :-)

Mommy Housewife said...

I'm glad you don't take her comments to heart. i've seen ace and that he is always happy. As parents we all have trial and error and days that we just want to give up. but we dont. or if we do, its only for about 3 minutes. You're a good mom. Never forget it.

Sharon said...

You're an awesome mom.

Good for you for making this post. I hope the wimp reads it and follows your advice.

I wish I was near said person. I'd love to shove some of their belongings in jello.

Watercolor said...

Bwahahahahaaaaaahaahaa!

You are a great mom and I am very jealous. :) Love you!

HEATHER said...

You know dear Stacey, the longer I live on this planet, the more I observe and learn about people. I have come to the conclusion that there is a great big segment of the population who can only feel good about themselves when they are putting others down. Quite frankly I would like to gather them up and drop them all off on a deserted island so they could fight it out amongst themselves and leave the rest of us alone.
Just keep deleting her comments, you know that you are wonderful mom and the people who count know that you are a wonderful mom.

RhondaLue said...

lol Although my *thorn in my side* doesn't COMMENT on my blog. She reads it and makes comments on everyone else's blog insulting me in a round about way but just sly enough that I'm probably the only one that "gets" what she's doing.

But to her and to your stupid commenter, go suck eggs. Mind your own beeswax. We don't care 'bout you haters!

And seriously, I can't STAND people that act all holier than though because they do something a certain way. I may do things one way, you do them another...and we're both right and we're both amazing moms. ;) (not YOU in particular, Stacy-I mean YOU in general. But you ARE a good mom!) Wow, I totally babbled on. blame it on no sleep! The end.

K Storm said...

Why do people do things like that? I haven't checked your blog in a while and stumbled on this...I hate those people that try to make others feel inadequate as parents but I find that they remember through rose-colored glasses and I take great comfort in imagining the stuff they leave out. Let's hear it for REAL MOMS!!

AlysonMcleroy said...

放棄者不會勝利,勝利者永不放棄。 ....................................................

mrs. misenar said...

wow! sucks to be her.
i can't stand negative people.

Jennifer said...

boo yah! well put! i agree 99%....wait-no-100!