That is to say, RARE. This weather sucks.
I seem to have hit the depression stage of my grief over losing my baby. I know it's been several months, but everyone grieves in her own way and apparently it's taken me some time to get here.
I can hardly get out of bed, yet I can't sleep - I'm averaging 3 hours a night at this point. I'm going back to very dark places that I visited during the depression of my early 20's. And most worrisome for me, I'm blowing off visits with my family and friends. Any time I've felt bad in the past, I'd just visit my family or hang out with one or several of my friends, but I'm either just not returning calls or simply cutting the visits short. This is not at all like me.
I'm fairly certain that a major contributing factor to this depression is my cough. While it's not terrible at this point, I still have several coughing fits per day. I finished my 3rd round of antibiotics yesterday and I'm downing Mucinex like whoa. Thing is, I can't laugh. If I laugh, I start coughing, so I just avoid laughter, which I hear is the best medicine or something.
I'm a little worried about myself. Gotta say.
So I put in a call this morning to the fabulous therapist who helped get me through the destruction of my psyche after my ectopic pregnancy. I haven't been able to see her nearly 2 years, but I'm certain that she will be a big help in getting me over this slump.
In the meantime, posts will be spotty. I PROMISE a Christmas post with lots of pictures, but it might not be till Valentine's Day. I do update on Twitter pretty frequently, though, so you can always follow me, either here or on my sidebar. Over there. --->
Now if you'll excuse me, there are some tortilla chips in my pantry calling my name. Yes, inanimate objects speak to me. I told you I called a therapist already.
1 month ago