Sunday, October 12, 2008

That's quite enough...

Dude, I am fat.

I know that I always have been, but there's feeling good and there's feeling fat. I was on a pretty good track there for a while, getting down to the goal weight I set for myself before I was pregnant with Ace, but the past month and a half has been all about stress-eating and convenience eating since I sho nuff didn't feel like cooking. I've been absolutely terrified to weigh myself, but that's probably a good thing since I'm quite certain I've gone well past my suicide weight. I just FEEL fatter.

First off, let's have ourselves a diet change. For reals. I really enjoy cooking and know how to make cheap things taste good (my Cajun cooking influence), so there's no reason I can't make healthy things taste good. I'm stealing a bunch of Sharon's meal plans since she's a die hard Weight Watcher, so I figure she's got the right idea. I'll just throw some extra onions or garlic in where I see fit. And when all else fails, use Tony's.

Secondly, as soon as I feel better, let's throw a little exercise in the mix. Oh my gosh do I hate exercise. HAAATE it. I used to like walking around my neighborhood but now I have to stop at every other house because some old lady wants to tattle on her neighbor for not having his grass cut below 2 inches above the ground and he parked his car on the street for SIX HOURS the other day and I DON'T CARE GET A LIFE. I really need to find something fun to do. I have a treadmill that's underused, and an iPhone. I think it's time to download more movies on that sucker. Or e-books. Hmmm.

Bottom line, there's Ace. He's pretty much predestined to be fat. He's got two fat parents and a whole lineage of fatness before us, with the exception of my mom's side of the family. I feed him good food like 90% of the time. He gets fruits and veggies and lean protein and lots of fiber and whole wheat. Most of the time when I get fast food for dinner, this poor kid gets stuck with carrots and chicken. I'm teaching him healthy eating habits without following them myself. And while the "do as I say, not as I do" parenting plan worked for my dad, it doesn't work for most parents. I have got to be an example for him.

I'm in no hurry to get pregnant again soon, so I've got a few months to work on this and start to feel good about myself before I get knocked up. Plus, dangit, my high school reunion is next month. I want to feel good about myself then. I don't have to be a perfect size 6 or show everyone else up, I just want to feel good about myself like I did a few months ago.

Oh, and I ate 2 cookies and a bite-sized Snickers bar out of the stash of stress-food that y'all have stocked me up on. I think I've got the right idea.

13 comments:

Dr. Wifey said...

stacey, i used to LOATHE exercise as well. now that i have been doing it regularly for 6 months, i actually enjoy it. i try to challenge myself each time i go to the gym - to run that extra minute or do that extra push-up. whatever it takes. good luck! i will be your cheerleader :)

Waterfall said...

Three words: Join. Weight. Watchers. It is a GREAT program. They started a Weight Watchers' group at my work a couple of years ago, and it's truly resulted in a phenomenon of "The Incredible Shrinking People." I have several friends who started out seriously obese and have since have lost more than 100 pounds.

Good luck!! You can do this!

Watercolor said...

You can do this. You have incredible drive and determination. When I am doing well, I am using Sparkpeople.com to log in my food and keep track of where I am. You enter in your weight goal and that you want to lost 1.5 pounds a week and it will calculate a calorie range goal per day for you. Perfect for me who has no idea what that should be. Then as you lose every 10 pounds, you update your weight goals and it updates the calorie goals accordingly.

When you are ready for exercise, you go back in and add that and it updates your calorie needs as well.

I should do weight watchers but I can't pay for another thing... My parents are doing very well on it.

Sandi said...

I agree with waterfall, because it's so much easier if you've got someone going through the same thing right there with you. Watercolor's right too ... the food journal is a wonderful tool. Exercise journals are, too.

RhondaLue said...

my hubby lost 100 lbs on weight watchers and has kept it off for over a year...give or take 10 lbs (which is NOTHINNNNN in comparison to what he's lost!)

I lost 60 on WW but you know, it's like everything else-you have to STICK WITH THE CRAP for it to work. Dangit. DOUBLE dangit! I've gained a bit back but I'm going to get back on track and hopefully back to losing because I'm sure not there yet. It *is* the most realistic way to make life changes though.

shiksa said...

I didn't do a lick of exercise until May of 2007 and I think the only reason I've stuck with it is that it's cheaper than therapy and the clarity lasts longer. WW has been wonderful for me on the road because it forces me to look at what I eat (I only have a five-minute break and three more hours of rehearsal-ooh look, someone brought a whole plate of brownies!!) and how much. It's been great for my other half as well - we're both stress eaters and he's got the double whammy of genetics on his side. Miss Jean also uses dailyplate.com to look up nutrition information - a great resource. You can totally do this - you're a fierce woman!

Bird said...

Literally the only kind of exercise I will do is my Gazelle. It's in the middle of the house and very obnoxiously placed, but I actually get on it for this reason. I could sell the damn things I talk about it so much.

mrs. misenar said...

i met with a new nutritionist to loose this last 25 pounds. she was great and the weight just melted off of me. you are welcome to that program!

Alice said...

You can walk with me when I go no one is out ... Lost 50 lbs doing it 3 years ago now

mayberry said...

It's just hard to get into gear and DO IT. I understand girl.

From the Doghouse said...

Don't forget Tabasco with chipotle. It's awesome.

Jen said...

I so posted a comment & blogger ate it.

Oh well, try the fitness lady. They have one there across from Big Lots. I loved going there. I worked with a trainer & a food plan & I got down to an 8, first time I was in single digits since jr. high. Kick ass aerobics classes too. ANd I didn't feel so nasty with it being all women & no men to oogle or stare, I hated that about other gyms. I wanted to run & my fat flounce without being laughed at. heh!

Working out has only worked for me. Dieting doesn't do it much but I eat pretty healthy as it is.

AND, I wanted you to know, I understand what you are feeling, I go through this same stage after every miscarriage I have had. I am an early "gainer" & after the twins this last time, I had some serious feelings of being fat. I bought a Pilates DVD to do at home & I love it, its working pretty well. I am back down to a 12 & working for my 10. :)

Much love to you girl.

Sherry said...

It's like deciding to quit smoking. All you have to do is decide to do it, then it's easy. Deciding to decide is the hard part. It's all a matter of willpower and determination. If you have at least half of either, the rest will happen.