Dude, I am fat.
I know that I always have been, but there's feeling good and there's feeling fat. I was on a pretty good track there for a while, getting down to the goal weight I set for myself before I was pregnant with Ace, but the past month and a half has been all about stress-eating and convenience eating since I sho nuff didn't feel like cooking. I've been absolutely terrified to weigh myself, but that's probably a good thing since I'm quite certain I've gone well past my suicide weight. I just FEEL fatter.
First off, let's have ourselves a diet change. For reals. I really enjoy cooking and know how to make cheap things taste good (my Cajun cooking influence), so there's no reason I can't make healthy things taste good. I'm stealing a bunch of Sharon's meal plans since she's a die hard Weight Watcher, so I figure she's got the right idea. I'll just throw some extra onions or garlic in where I see fit. And when all else fails, use Tony's.
Secondly, as soon as I feel better, let's throw a little exercise in the mix. Oh my gosh do I hate exercise. HAAATE it. I used to like walking around my neighborhood but now I have to stop at every other house because some old lady wants to tattle on her neighbor for not having his grass cut below 2 inches above the ground and he parked his car on the street for SIX HOURS the other day and I DON'T CARE GET A LIFE. I really need to find something fun to do. I have a treadmill that's underused, and an iPhone. I think it's time to download more movies on that sucker. Or e-books. Hmmm.
Bottom line, there's Ace. He's pretty much predestined to be fat. He's got two fat parents and a whole lineage of fatness before us, with the exception of my mom's side of the family. I feed him good food like 90% of the time. He gets fruits and veggies and lean protein and lots of fiber and whole wheat. Most of the time when I get fast food for dinner, this poor kid gets stuck with carrots and chicken. I'm teaching him healthy eating habits without following them myself. And while the "do as I say, not as I do" parenting plan worked for my dad, it doesn't work for most parents. I have got to be an example for him.
I'm in no hurry to get pregnant again soon, so I've got a few months to work on this and start to feel good about myself before I get knocked up. Plus, dangit, my high school reunion is next month. I want to feel good about myself then. I don't have to be a perfect size 6 or show everyone else up, I just want to feel good about myself like I did a few months ago.
Oh, and I ate 2 cookies and a bite-sized Snickers bar out of the stash of stress-food that y'all have stocked me up on. I think I've got the right idea.
5 days ago