Since here in Mississippi, high school football ranks right above God and right below sweet tea, the kids in most cities around here are trick-or-treating tomorrow night instead of Friday so as not to interfere with football games. Apparently, the police are so stretched that they can't monitor both trick-or-treaters and the football games. I say move the football games to Thursday instead, but I don't matter.
As soon as I pick Ace up from school today, we're putting off his nap a bit and going to get a pumpkin. I kept meaning to make it out to the Ag Museum for their pumpkin patch and whatnot, but I never did. We're going to pick it up from a farmer's stand, though, so at least I can still feel morally superior for getting something locally grown.
After we pick up the pumpkin, we'll be grabbing a few bags of good candy and a few bags of the cheap stuff. I have a plan this year.
If you come to my house and you're an adorable little trick-or-treater and you say "trick-or-treat," you get the good candy. If you say "please," you get double the good candy. If you're too young to say anything, I'll still hook you up. If you happen to have the internet initials GB or RHD, well, bring a big bag.
However, if you fall into one of the following categories, you'll get maybe one crappy sugar-free sucker:
-You have a beard
-You're trick-or-treating "for" a 5-month-old
-You say nothing
-You're wearing a "Scream" mask. Nobody even knows what that is anymore.
-You're wearing a ball cap and a flannel shirt and jeans. Give me a little effort. Throw some fake blood on yourself or something.
Maybe I'm getting jaded in the Halloween department. But dadgummit. It's called "trick or treating" because you're supposed to SAY "trick or treat." I don't think I'm asking for too much here.
1 month ago