Wednesday, October 29, 2008

In the last-minute category, and a warning.

Since here in Mississippi, high school football ranks right above God and right below sweet tea, the kids in most cities around here are trick-or-treating tomorrow night instead of Friday so as not to interfere with football games. Apparently, the police are so stretched that they can't monitor both trick-or-treaters and the football games. I say move the football games to Thursday instead, but I don't matter.

As soon as I pick Ace up from school today, we're putting off his nap a bit and going to get a pumpkin. I kept meaning to make it out to the Ag Museum for their pumpkin patch and whatnot, but I never did. We're going to pick it up from a farmer's stand, though, so at least I can still feel morally superior for getting something locally grown.

After we pick up the pumpkin, we'll be grabbing a few bags of good candy and a few bags of the cheap stuff. I have a plan this year.

If you come to my house and you're an adorable little trick-or-treater and you say "trick-or-treat," you get the good candy. If you say "please," you get double the good candy. If you're too young to say anything, I'll still hook you up. If you happen to have the internet initials GB or RHD, well, bring a big bag.

However, if you fall into one of the following categories, you'll get maybe one crappy sugar-free sucker:

-You have a beard
-You're trick-or-treating "for" a 5-month-old
-You say nothing
-You're wearing a "Scream" mask. Nobody even knows what that is anymore.
-You're wearing a ball cap and a flannel shirt and jeans. Give me a little effort. Throw some fake blood on yourself or something.

Maybe I'm getting jaded in the Halloween department. But dadgummit. It's called "trick or treating" because you're supposed to SAY "trick or treat." I don't think I'm asking for too much here.


Dr. Wifey said...

you should have out pretzels to the black list

i'm black betty said...

i got yo trick-o-treatin'... ;) see ya tomorrow night!!!

mayberry said...

Yet another reason that I am glad to live in a rural part of my community that nobody bothers to bring rude, untrained trick-or-treaters.

Emily said...

So does this mean taking Savannah trick or treating for free candy is a bad idea??? But she will be the cutest lady bug EVER!! That's gotta be worth at least one piece of the good stuff, huh???

Lauren said...

Maybe you should make a sign for the front door that explains the rules... "Wearing a costume and saying 'trick or treat' will dramatically increase the quality and quantity of candy given." The kids won't read it, but the parents might get the point, which I think is the goal, since most kids that don't say it were improperly trained by their parents. Shy kids are excepted from this generalization of course.

Brou HahHah said...

Right on, girl. It's the same in my neighborhood too. I wonder if the whole "Trick or Treat Thursday" will apply our way as well?

I may have to get a paper.

My capcha is "ansfambo". Haha

regan said...

I read this and thought "I am so handing out candy according to Stacey's rules" but then decided not to since I don't want to spend Saturday morning hosing egg off my front porch.

Nicole Bradshaw said...

I say you wrap a small strip of paper around the sugar-free sucker handle that says something like, "If you had worn a decent costume OR been under the age of 18, this would have been a full-sized Snickers bar."

Alice said...

awesome! Good call! i got somefin' for a little Ace-man!

Jen said...

I had 2 BOWLS of candy too. I got so SO sick of the "big" kids out trick or treating in "momma's houseshoes & flannel shirt" that I decided to buy a big bag of SMarties (which I HATE!) and that's all they got. 1 Smartie.

The cute ones, oh yea, hooked them UP with some good candy! :) hehe

From the Doghouse said...

The princesses always leave my house with heavier bags.

We'll be out tonight too!

From the Doghouse said...

As one who did the Thursday night bit, as opposed to the actual holiday like everyone around us will be doing, I officially declare that the idea bit big ones.

JesusThroughMary said...

Trick or treating on All Saints' Day?!?!?! Too many Baptists making decisions down there.