Still, I'll use metaphors.
Some months, Aunt Flo just comes in, does her thing, then leaves. She annoys me for about a day or two beforehand, then the requisite 5-7 day visit, but she doesn't make me regret the day God decided to make me a woman.
Other months, she decides she'll call and bother me every single day for about 2 weeks before her visit. She demands chili cheese fries and unholy amounts of chocolate every single day for those two weeks and curses me if I drink anything but water. She forces me to lay down on the couch and watch crappy TV. She convinces me that my husband is a huge jerk, the guy on the radio needs to be fired ASAP, and that the baby gate manufacturers HATE ME... yes, me specifically. She also has a voodoo doll of me, and takes those little pins and stabs me in the gut, over and over and over again, for 2 frickin' weeks.
Ugh. Sonic, here I come.
1 day ago