Sunday, January 27, 2008

can't sleep

Found this on digg.com, (the link is arguably NSFW, if only for the sidebar) proving once again that New Jersey is, by far, the greatest state in the nation. To think, if I'd only married my first boyfriend instead of holding out for Drew, I could be living in Jersey right now. Ahh, regrets. I could've been one of these lucky ladies:















What's with the hairstyle? And the burnt orange skin? Perhaps an evolutionary adaptation singular to New Jersey - the more a man (selfus tannerus) looks like an Oompa Loompa, the more attractive he is to his potential mate (girlus jerseyshoreus).

Seriously, ladies. You can't tell me that you're not turned on by the testosterone oozing from this guy:



















I can't tell... does that look say "Feel my man boobs as they ripple with unbridled power!" or "Um, Keelee, I've had like 12 Zimas tonight, is the camera over there?" "I just won a wet t-shirt contest with my abs of steel" or "I have to poop." I don't know. You decide. The dude's not Keelee's only problem - unintentional maternity wear, anyone?

Now, one of my good friends and loyal blog readers (jesusthroughmary) is from New Jersey. (He's also the aforementioned ex-boyfriend. Weird.) Perhaps he can explain this phenomenon. Tony?

12 comments:

Supermom said...

I'll have to go with the "I gotta poop."

Alice said...

haha! Is that a girl's shirt the last one has on? Those guys are total "tools" ...

fwapah said...

oh the jerz... gotta love the bridge & tunnel crowd. in related news.. http://youtube.com/watch?v=4JMOh-cul6M

Watercolor said...

Take the picture already. I gotta poop!

Sharon said...

Stacey, I have to ask-WHAT are you entering in the search bar to bring such interesting results? lol.

Andrew said...

Why do they all have Dragon Ball-Z hair?

From the Doghouse said...

I'm gonna pump you up!

Black Betty said...

spray tan gone WRONG! dear lord...help us all!

Mama Can-Can said...

they look creepy...
and just know...THEY think they look sexy...

Christy said...

Yeah he definitely has some poop shoot issues goin on there...

Maybe his "overly tanness" has caused skin to tighten so much that his butt-hole closed up.

just a thought.

Sandi said...

I have to go with: "I eat roids like they're M&Ms, and now I want to rip your f-ing head off, biatch."
Yeah. That's one scary oompah loompa.

jesusthroughmary said...

That's a North Jersey thing. There's a Hollywood Tans 6-second tanning booth next to every Starbucks up there. Think of a million AJ Sopranos. No wonder the Mafia is out of business.

The look on their faces is Blue Steel, except that the fourth one down is quintessential le Tigre.