Dear Ace,

Son, I called Mr. Hart to ask very complicated questions about a very complicated procedure that you'll be going through. As you know, your mommy's not very smart, and has a hard time paying attention to complicated things. I would really appreciate it if you could avoid spending my entire phone call saying AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! AH AH AH AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! HA HA HAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! HA AH! This is very cute in 99% of situations, but when Mr. Hart is saying things like "parallel protons" and "magnetic fields" and "erased credit cards," I think you want me to pay attention.

Although, duly noted that I should not make such phone calls in the car where I can't simply walk away when you're testing your vocal chords.

Thank you.

Love,
Mommy