One year old.

Today is my little boy's first birthday. I am not a very eloquent person by nature, I wouldn't say, but I have to talk about it. It's hard to remember the day he came into this world because of the circumstances surrounding his birth, but I look at him now and feel so, so incredibly blessed. I am amazed at what he's accomplished. I am amazed at the wonderment in his eyes. I have never known love like this. I thank God for what he's given me.

Gosh, I'm so emotional right now. On to the pictures.















Ace's humble beginning. He weighed 3 pounds, which I'm told is pretty big for a 29-weeker, and measured in at 15 and a half inches. After he was born, he was whisked away immediately to the NICU to stabilize. My delivering nurse whisked in there with him and took a bunch of Polaroids, which are some of my most prized possessions. Even in the Polaroids, I could tell he looked like Drew. Several minutes later, he was rolled in in his isolette. I couldn't see him very well, but I knew he was mine, and I knew my life had completely changed. I wasn't able to get up to go see him till 3 the next morning - almost 6 hours after he was born. I didn't hold him until he was 6 days old.















While he was in the NICU, his major problem was keeping his oxygen sats up. I hated seeing my little guy with wires all over the place, but it was necessary. One of the happiest days of my life was seeing his beautiful face without wires. The picture above is a favorite of mine, and Papa Steve. Papa Steve was like magic for him while he was in the NICU - he always smiled when his paw-paw held him, and his oxygen sats were always right where they should be.















This is one day before he turned 2 months old, and the day we brought him home. He was 6 pounds and 6 ounces, and absolutely a wonderful baby. He woke up 3 times that first night. The third time, I practically had to wheel myself into the kitchen to make his bottle - my mom jumped up and scolded me for not having woken her up earlier.















At three months old, he wasn't a big fan of sleeping anywhere but right with Mommy and Daddy, and I can honestly say that I miss that. I loved looking down at my baby, sleeping peacefully in my arms. I loved laying on the couch all day cuddling with him. I remember I got a cold and couldn't do it for a while and had to really work hard to get him to fall asleep with me again. I love this picture because he looks so much like Drew, and so much like an angel.















Four months was fun, because he REALLY pudged out. I think that's when he started to "catch up." His cheeks were so huge, and I remember wanting to take a picture of him from the side and do a comparison with that classic Alfred Hitchcock picture. Of course, I slacked off and never did. He also visited his Grandma Barbara for the first time and she fell in love. Natch. The above picture was taken because after we took him out of the bathtub, we'd bundle him up and put a hat on him, and when we'd take the hat off his hair would poof out Gene Wilder style. It was a little hard to capture it on camera.















Ace started smiling really big at around 5 months, in direct response to other people's smiles and noises and faces. He started looking into our eyes then too, which was fantastic. It was nice to have him notice us, after being such a big lump for 4 months. 5 months was also a wonderful magical time because that's when he started sleeping through the night. Can I get an AMEN?



















He started laughing right before 6 months. When he was five months and some change, he started kinda squealing when he was happy, but the belly laughs started at Thanksgiving. I remember my stepdad tickling his neck, and he did a quick belly laugh and we all froze. He didn't do it again, but very shortly after, he started doing it, and hasn't stopped. His laughter is the one thing that keeps me going some days. It gives me joy like I never knew I could have. I think I stopped having to calculate what size clothes to get him when he turned 6 months too - he never wore 3-6 month stuff. He went straight from 0-3 month to 6-9 month stuff. He really did catch up.















I think he started to notice and appreciate me and Drew for who we were at around 7 months. I remember loving when my goddaughter, Ashley, would kick like crazy whenever she was happy to see us, and I couldn't wait till Ace got to that point. He started that at about 7 months. I was also excited to watch him develop certain cognitive abilities, like reaching for and holding on to things and playing with toys. I love watching him entertain himself, because everything is new to him.















I THINK, I'm not totally sure, but I THINK he started a really good sleeping schedule by 8 months. At some point right around there, he started taking really good morning and afternoon naps, which has restored a measure of normalcy and sanity in my life that was really necessary for me. I think I may be forgetting the more painful phases of our journey to get him to sleep...















9 months was big for my buddy. He spent the first weekend without his Daddy, the first weekend away from Mommy AND Daddy, had his first visit with Cousin Veronica (who loves Ace like nobody's business, and said she'd joust anyone who says they love him more than she does), rolled over for the first time - from front to back AND back to front... He also got his last Synagis shot! He hasn't had to have any needles poking on him in three months. Today, of course, is vaccination central, but that's to be expected, of course.















(This picture has been a major favorite. I, too, think it's absolutely adorable.) These past 3 months have really been an amazing time in Ace's development. He got his first teeth over Easter weekend, at 10 months old. They didn't seem to hurt him that much, not like the one that's coming in right now. We got our first really good family picture, and one of the only pictures in existence with all three of us in it. He got thrown into a fit of giggles over his Auntie Jennifer's fit of coughing. He also started his physical therapy at 10 months, and we're seeing some results from that. Still not sitting up, but we'll see. He started completely soothing himself to sleep; up until this point, we'd have to go into his room once or twice to put his pacifier back in his mouth. I also said goodbye to the end of RSV season and started to relax on the anti-germ Nazi stuff.















The past month has been unbelievable. He started crawling a little bit (video on youtube... eventually), basically by putting his elbows out in front of him and then dragging himself forward. He does wiggle his legs while he's doing it, but not in a way that's helping him propel himself forward at all. He's started sleeping really well, to the point that we have to get him up in the morning or he'll sleep all day. He slept till 11:30 on the day he turned 11 months. He's on a really, really good schedule, one to which I think I probably adhere a little too strictly.















Today, my little boy is one year old. He is the light of my world, my angel, and as I sing to him every night, he is my sunshine. I have never known joy, love, or happiness like this - and I've never known fear, vulnerability, or rage-inspiring protectiveness like this. He is 24 pounds (which is less than I thought, but more than most little boys his age) and 30 inches - that's 8 times his birth weight and twice his birth height. How many babies can you say that about? I'm so proud of him and all he's accomplished, and excited to watch him continue to develop in every single way.

I love you, Ace. Happy birthday.