While I love all the accolades I receive for being this wondermom y'all seem to think I am, I always question myself and live in constant fear that I'll raise my son poorly. Of course I want him to be healthy and outlive me and stuff, those are given, but there are specific personal failings that I fear. So here, for your insight into my insecurity, is a small list of the things I'm scared of.
1. I'm afraid that Ace won't give his life to Jesus Christ and live in a Christ-like manner.
2. I'm afraid that he won't be independent.
3. I'm afraid he'll be spoiled.
4. I'm afraid he'll knock someone up.
5. I'm afraid he'll be fat.
6. I'm afraid he'll join the military. Now before my military friends and family get all up in arms (heehee), I know this wouldn't be indicative of raising him poorly, but I think the worst day of my life would be my son being called for a tour of duty in some crappy little country that doesn't want us there anyway. If our country were actually under military attack, which I don't see ever happening, I'd be proud if he joined. If he joined while we were stuck in some military quagmire (cough cough IRAQ), I'd lapse into a coma.
7. I'm absolutely petrified of controlling him and micromanaging his life.
8. I'm afraid he'll be insular.
9. I'm afraid he'll be lazy.
10. I'm afraid that he won't be happy and successful in whatever profession he chooses to take.
Everyone says I'm a great mom. There are times where I'm all "those fools is nuts," but most of the time I feel like I've got stuff under control. This is just a small list of the things I fear, but I think I have a pretty good plan of action to prevent all or most of them. I'll let you know in 20 years or so. For now I'm gonna make him a bottle and go to sleep.
4 months ago
3 comments:
Ace has best parents ever, he will be fine! Plus you can already tell how smart he is. Well, I can already tell how smart he is. Look at how he is always up in people's business looking around and stuff. Normally five month old babies, five month old preemies natch, arent as curious as Ace. He's like a little genius.
You're on the right track to knocking out some of the fears quickly. Keep up the good work. Now, for some friendly parent-observer advice:
1. Be there for him when he does screw up.
2. Let him know he can talk to you about anything, anytime.
3. No prejudices
4. Exonerate the things he can do well. and reinforce how special he is.
5. Read to him. Read The Bible, read to him whatever you can get your hands on to stir his imagination, as well as his spiritual development.
Just keep your faith, sister.
We all have the feeling of failure some days much more than the others. The first time your child has a temper tantrum in the middle of the store and makes a fool out of you will be one of those days. But they pass and you see the bright side most of the time. We can only do so much and the rest is up to the child. I know ace will be great....
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