Friday, September 15, 2006


Isn't it embarassing when you send someone a $20 gift card for a special event in their life, and they send you at least $75 worth of presents for a similar event in yours, especially when you know you could afford to drop $75 on them, as well?

Anyway, I'm going through a dilemma here. The nipple shields didn't quite work. While Ace was able to latch on, after having received instant gratification in the form of a bottle nipple for a month, he was none too pleased with having to work harder for his food. No, none too pleased at all.

I'm going to give you instructions on how to live my life now.

Get into a nice, cuddly, deep sleep for 2 hours, then wake yourself up, listen to something screaming or whining (Amy Lee of Evanescence will do) for 10-15 minutes (that's him fussing while I warm up the bottle and change his diaper), then sit still for about 5 minutes, then pat yourself for another 5 (that's feeding and burping), repeat the last 2 steps at least 4 more times. Then, sit still for another 10 minutes (that's me getting him back to sleep and making sure he doesn't have anymore trapped gas). Then pinch and twist your nipples for 15 minutes. Then, since you have a loving and wonderful husband who will take the second feeding since he gets up that early anyway, sit up in bed and pinch and twist your nipples for another 15 minutes. Do it every night.

Then, during the day, pinch and twist your nipples for 15 minutes every 3 hours or so. For at least 3 of these sessions, make sure there's something screaming in your ear. (Watch an episode of Jerry Springer.) (That, by the way, is Ace wanting to be held while I'm pumping. Trying to balance a pump on each boob and try to soothe a baby that just wants to be held is NOT EASY.)

What's that you say, your nipples hurt? Every time your shirt touches them you want to cry? Heaven forbid your child should drag his feet against them because you'll bark with pain? Go ahead, rub a little lotion on them. See if that makes a doggone bit of difference.

My mom says I need to just set a date, and stop on that date. Why can I not do it? Why can't I bring myself to stop doing something I hate doing so much? There's nothing wrong with formula, Ace's pediatrician said so - and we can afford it. Even the organic stuff, giant hippie that I am. So what's the problem here?

I wish I had time to see my therapist.


Reformed Mama said...

awww... pumping stinks.have you tried pumping just until let down and then latching ace on. then the milk is already right there and he doesn't have to work so hard.

another thing you could do, to hopefully get yourself some extra sleep, is to pump to letdown then latch ace on RIGHT before you lie down to go to sleep for the night.

i'm sorry you are having to pump. it really is a pain.

check out

Anonymous said...

Stacey, my only advice is to pray on it, and if you feel like you can't keep it up, then go to a bottle. It will not kill him, it won't be bad for him, and it will not make him stupid. If I'm wrong on that last one, Big Girl should be in college by now instead of only being one year ahead in third grade. And reading Tolstoy instead of Tolkien.

Not everyone can breastfeed, and when I made the (difficult) decision not to, it was because I completely dreaded feeding my child. What kind of bonding was that?

Again, everyone is different, but don't believe the hype that anyone can breastfeed. I'm really sorry you are having trouble with it, and I hope that if you feel led to continue that you'll be able to do so without so much pain. I'll keep you and Ace on my intentions list until you figure it out, okay? But let you and God make the decision together. :)

-Christine the Soccer Mom

Surviving said...

I had to pump with my oldest two. I don't think a day went by that I didn't consider quitting. They were both about 3 months old before they could breastfeed due to being so small and preemies. I also had to work and they needed milk when I wasn't at home. What I did that seemed to help with getting them to start nursing was use an avent bottle. It seemed as though they had to work harder with the nipple on that bottle.

My current baby was fullterm and hasn't had problems with nursing. I still think about just quitting some days. I've only used the pump a couple times. I just hate using it after needing it for so long with the other boys.

Melinda Barton said...

I don't remember the name of it, but there was a formula made with the enzyme from breast milk that's missing in traditional formulas. You should look into that and stop talking about twisting your nipples. I get images.