Sunday, May 07, 2006

Wallet chains

Okay, so my husband is very perplexed about the fact that so many people remember him with a wallet chain. He insists that he never had one, and has offered several explanations as to why people might think such a terrible thing. His oldest friend even corroborated the story.

Well, I cannot live in secret anymore. I cannot go on mocking my husband (although his horrendous exasperation at the idea of having a wallet chain is hilarious) for, you see, I'd be a big ol' hypocrite.

That's right, ladies and gentlemen, I had a wallet chain. LET ME EXPLAIN!!!

Highschool started the tomboy phase for me. I had never been much of a girly girl, but I went full-on tomboy in about 9th grade. See, I thought that following along with the baggy things trend would get me into the popular crowd. I also became a brand name wearer, Nike, Adidas, Abercrombie and Fitch, I simply had to have it. I'd spend $24 on a t-shirt just to have that A&F adorning my body somewhere. I even stuffed myself into boys' Gap jeans because the girls' jeans didn't fit me and I wanted desperately to have Gap jeans. I made $4.25 an hour, folks, and my dad stopped buying me clothes when I was 11.

Somewhere in there, I went from tomboy to man. Baggy jeans, baggy shirts, anything to cover up the fact that I was fat. Wallet chains were kinda popular among the "freak" crowd (I believe they're called "alternative" now) and I thought I'd fit in by getting one. Only, I left for France before coming up with this fantastic idea. So, while in France, I bought a wallet, complete with chain, and wore it during my entire 4 month stay.

Now, I'm utterly ashamed. Having openly mocked my husband for a chain he never wore, having proudly owned my own. Such a hypocrite, and at the expense of a man whom I love more than anything else in the world.

Even if he did have a wallet chain.


shiksa said...

I'm reasonably sure that I have a photo of your husband wearing the aforemocked wallet chain and would gladly find and furnish said photo.

My high school boyfriend wore a wallet chain too, so as far as I'm concerned, we were all terribly cool.

cncz said...

I distinctly remember shiksa's high school boyfriend's wallet chain, as he would flog people at random with it.

I am willing to admit that I perhaps have confused your husband with someone else in his posse, but I don't think so. Perhaps he had a black leather wallet that looked like it needed a chain that is causing me confusion?

javafoofoo said...

Don't feel that bad; I had a wallet cahin, too. It was a green glitter one that I got from some forgotten goth store. (A chain gothic store, if you beleive that!)

But it was all a part of that gothic/grunge image. Ahh the 90's, how i don't miss thee...

Drew said...

Shiksa, if you have photographic proof I want to see it.

Cncz, I had a black leather eel-skin wallet at some point, sans chain.

Melinda Barton said...

SOMEONE in our group had a wallet chain. I can't remember who. It'll come to me.

Drew said...

If you're not being sarcastic, the answer you seek is Mike Foul-Goo.

Melinda Barton said...

Not being sarcastic. I remember Mike with one, but I think there was someone else. Huh. Eric?