Thursday, March 16, 2006

Take that, Mommy Wars.

1. I will breastfeed if I can. If I can't, I won't feel bad. I have nothing against formula.
2. If I have a boy, he will be circumcized.
3. I will stay at home, and will not work until my children are much older, and even then, it'll be part time. Unless, of course, my family needs an extra income, then I'm back in the game.
4. Jury's still out on spanking.
5. I will send my children to private school, but I'd like to avoid a religious school if at all possible. I will not homeschool.
6. I will raise my children as Christians, and bring them to church unless they come up with a compelling reason to not go or I feel that their teachers are condemning certain sins over others.
7. I will, with the help of my Jewish and Muslim friends, teach my children about other religions. Ignorance leads to hate. (Hate leads to suffering, yes!)
8. If my children are doing poorly in private school, I will take them out and enroll them in public school. (Drew and I disagree on this one. Even though he's hella smart and went to public school.)
9. I will expose my children to culturally diverse situations as much as possible and explain to them the ugly racist history of this country. I'm going to desperately try to counteract any effect being raised in Mississippi with a bunch of private school kids will have on them.
10. I will let my children believe in Santa, the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy.
11. I will expose my children to as little TV as humanly possible. We'd get rid of the cable when the kid is born, but I can't imagine my life without a DVR.
12. I will hold/feed/comfort my children when I feel like it. I won't sleep with them in the bed with me, but only because I can't STAND it when someone else is touching me when I'm trying to sleep.

I'll stop there, but I had to jump into the Mommy Wars. Those are just a few of the parenting philosophies I plan on following with my children, but I don't care if others do or not. Just mind your business, raise your child the way you want to, and I'll raise my child the way I want to. I seriously don't get the Mommy Wars. We all want our children to be happy, and our family unit to be happy, and we'll pursue all avenues possible to make that happen. Why can't people accept that?

What breaks my heart about the Mommy Wars are those who feel like lesser mothers because they are ridiculed for their decisions. I have a friend whose name I don't want to mention in case this is too personal (but you know who you are, with your two adorable blonde girls) who literally could NOT breastfeed. I vividly remember her anguish because people would give her flack over it, even people she considered her friends. It's so pointless! I'm sure she would have loved to breastfeed, but she wasn't producing milk, and it HURT, and her kids were hungry! (By the way, her kids were never sick, and they're geniuses. Breastfeeding myth, busted.) Then there are all the moms who can't stay at home, but desperately want to, and are mocked for that. And vice versa - those who don't work and are belittled. Ladies, seriously. We're all in this together.

2 things I would join the Mommy Wars over:
1. I will set your house on fire if you scare my child to the point of humiliation, no matter how harmless you think it is. You make my kid cry, I make you cry.
2. Nobody will smoke near my child. Period.


cncz said...

I feel you on the cable one. I wish I could just get rid of tv totally. I don't know, maybe if I have kids they will be like me: too aggravated with people to fight over the tv so I just went and read a book. I was always at the bottom of the tv food chain so I just had to do other stuff.
Other than that, right on.
I agree with private school. There are some great schools in Jackson, too.

Christine said...

Stacey, have I sent you pictures lately of my genius blonde kids? They are getting huge! And I've got one that I'm DYING to share of the big one. :)

I know some moms who are REALLY down on public school to the point that they don't associate with people whose kids go to public school. But I know some people who went to public school who are bright and really devout Christians, to boot.

And, regardless of what people think, TV has not made my kids violent idiots. (But, then again, I"m pretty careful about what they watch/read.)

You'll be a great Mommy. But I wouldn't recommend burning houses down. That could really interfere with the whole being home with the kids thing.