Thursday, September 08, 2005

Check it.

You have every right to grieve over whatever it is you're grieving over, no matter how insignificant you may think it is in the world. If you dropped your laptop and had to get a new hard drive and lost 8 hours worth of songs on iTunes (and your name is Stacey) you have a right to grieve. If you lost a baby to an ectopic pregnancy 4 months ago and you are still grieving, you have a right to grieve. If you didn't get to go to a Tori Amos concert because you forgot your tickets, you have a right to grieve. If you just found out that your two absolute favorite shows are going to be on at the same time this season and you would rather watch neither one than watch just one of them (and your name is Stacey)... well, get over yourself. (But seriously, how can they do this to me?)

Look, the fact is, things could always be worse. People tend to put things into perspective a little more in times like these, and that's not necessarily a bad thing, but your grief is not insignificant to yours. We look at what we're grieving over, then feel bad for doing so because of the hurricane. Well, people in Cuba could always call insignificant on us because this kinda stuff happens to them all the time. My mom said today, there's the guy with no shoes, but then there's the guy with no feet. And you could always have my mother-in-law staying with you.

So seriously. Do put things into perspective and do appreciate what you have and don't try to take anything for granted. Especially the people you love, even if you don't like a few of them. Yes, things could always be worse, but they may be pretty bad for you right now. So go ahead, complain about gas prices, you know you want to. Complain about Smallville and The O.C. being on at the same time this season (and if your name is Stacey, cry yourself to sleep over it)(okay, I totally didn't, but how can they do this to me?). These things may be completely immaterial to other people, but they are important to you.

A word of advice though. Go ahead and don't complain about gas prices to people who have lost their houses. That's a wee insensitive.

Note to my readers: I am taking a light tone with this topic, but I really did talk to someone who was feeling bad about grieving for her lost baby. I realize that the great favorite show debate is ridiculously childish, but I'm trying to make a point here. Grieve over what you need to grieve over. And I ramble when I'm sleepy, and it's 12:53 am.


cncz said...

i agree. it makes me mad when people are like, "But there are starving orphans in Biafra". Yeah ok, I know that intellectually, but that doesn't help me now. Accepting your right to grieve is actually a step in the recovery process and allowing yourself to do so is the only way to learn and move on.

Tony said...

Can I grieve over the Phillies getting swept by Houston and basically knocking themselves out of the wild card race, just like every Philadelphia team eventually blows the season at the most important moment?