Saturday, May 11, 2013

I'm a buzzkill. I know.

For a few years now, I've seen The Bloggess' Beyonce post shared across social media as the most hilarious thing ever.  Upon first read, it is pretty funny, especially the imagery of the chicken at the front door, but the more I thought about it, the more I thought she was a on a massive power trip, intentionally disrespecting her husband for blog hits.

Listen, I've had fleeting glances of fame through blogging and social media and they are addictive.  I admittedly love the attention and seek it like a high.  Everything becomes writing fodder, and you know that even the most embarrassing and awful things in your life will be hilarious to your readers and suddenly, they don't seem so bad.  We cope through writing.  See my Diva Cup series from last month and Eddie Outlaw's pad kee mow experience.  Once, I dropped an entire container of flour on the floor, and instead of being angry, I giggled because I knew my Twitter followers would find it funny.  And when I go to my mother-in-law's house?  People salivate for updates - that is THE ONLY reason I ever go to The Barbara's house anymore, for the writing fodder.

I can't blame The Bloggess for seeking the high of knowing she's greatly entertained her audience because once you realize that you can spread joy to the world through laughter, it becomes your world.  And I admit to not being a regular Bloggess reader, though she is incredibly hilarious and very talented at what she does, so I don't know what kind of relationship she has with her husband.  But this, to me, crossed a major line, and it's just not funny.

Drew hoards quite a few things.  Since he's a beer enthusiast, he collects beer bottles to use for his homebrew and collects pint glasses because breweries give them out like candy.  Occasionally I'll have to urge him to purge the beer bottles and he grumbles, but he does it.  The pint glasses have completely grown out of control and at one point last year I told him that for every new pint glass he brought home, I'd buy myself a new piece of jewelry.  He culled his collection.

If he were a famous blogger and used my insistence that he keep his hoarding under control to pull a bratty stunt to intentionally embarrass me to entertain people who don't even know him, I would be incredibly hurt.  I admit to having used him as a minor punch line, but he and I pick at each other all the time and it's part of what makes our marriage great.  But I would never intentionally disrespect him or cross a line with him.  Not a one of you, my readers, nor my readership as a whole, is worth making an ass out of my husband.  Every one of you who has read the Beyonce post and has laughed at it has laughed at her husband's expense, at his humiliation, at his frustration.  When embarrassing, unpleasant things happen to me and I choose to share them with my readers for them to laugh at my expense, that's my choice.  But to intentionally humiliate another person for your readers to laugh at - totally different animal.  It's power-hungry bullying.

She says in an update that she and her husband are still happily married, which I fully believe.  I know she (rightfully) makes money off of her blog and her book and he's willing to take a lot of bullshit to benefit from her talent.  Stand-up comedians do the same thing - use anyone and everyone in their lives for a punch line and rake in the cash.  But sometimes, it's just not funny.  The Beyonce post was such a time.

I've unfortunately seen other big bloggers go down this road of take-no-prisoners power hunger.  A personal friend of mine tweeted her distaste for something she'd read on a blog, not naming the blog's writer or linking to the blog, and it got back to Dooce, who is a friend of the blog's writer, and Dooce sent her 1.5 million Twitter followers after my friend, who has 900 followers on Twitter and had no capacity to deal with the onslaught of angry blind followers.  I completely lost it on Dooce, because at the time she was making an attempt to combat bullying, and what she was doing to my friend was at the very least hypocritical.

In fact, I'm hesitant to post this, because I'm aware of the Famous Blog Follower Effect that crashes down on smaller bloggers.  But I saw the Beyonce post shared today on my Facebook and wanted to share my feelings about it.  By all means, use yourself as entertainment fodder.  Use your family and friends as punch lines.  But don't intentionally debase another person to entertain your followers.  It's just too far.

Maybe that's why I'm not a famous blogger.  That and my reticence to format my blog to anything beyond Blogger's basic format.  I'm lazy, y'all.


Regan Parks said...

I have thoughts about this but damn if I didn't learn you're not allowed to express your personal thoughts online.

Judy Weaver said...

I thought that also. I've thought that about other of her stories, but the Beyoncé one was the worst. The book explains their marriage somewhat, but reading her blog makes me wonder why he puts up with her. She is hilarious, though.

Judy Weaver said...

I thought that also. I've thought that about other of her stories, but the Beyoncé one was the worst. The book explains their marriage somewhat, but reading her blog makes me wonder why he puts up with her. She is hilarious, though.