Tuesday, April 23, 2013

Nostalgia and dating tips.

I dated one man seriously before I started dating Drew.  His name is Tony and he lives in a suburb of Philadelphia.  We met in a chat room (no, seriously) and within about 2 weeks fell madly in love via the Internet like people who are 18 and 19 do.  This was long before cheap/free long distance, so we wrote to each other probably twice a week.  I visited him on my Spring Break and it was awesome - he took me everywhere, bought me awesome food, showed me the most beautiful buildings and engaged in much PDA.  It was 100% infatuated puppy love.

Shortly after I went back no New Orleans it started to go downhill.  It was not the fault of either of us.  He was and is devoutly Catholic and I had no plans to be and it began to become clear that that discrepancy was eventually going to end us.  Mostly with regards to family planning - we did NOT share the same philosophies on that big sticking point of the Catholic faith and how to raise our kids, so we ended mostly amicably in March of 1999.

We stayed in touch but kept our distance for about a year.  He was probably the 5th person I called after Drew proposed to me.  In the early 2000s when texting became a thing our communication started to pick up.  He called me within 20 minutes of proposing to his now wife.  When pregnancies came along, we called each other within the first 24 hours of finding out.  And in 2007, he, his wife, and their 15 month old joined the three of us for Thanksgiving dinner and a trip to NOLA.  While he and I stayed up until the middle of the night almost every night just talking like old friends do, the trip was not without its blatant reminders that I DEFINITELY married the right guy.  We even said to each other as we were saying our goodbyes at the airport, "we married the right people."  "Yep."

I'd say I love him like a brother, but we've kinda made out, so that's weird.  I'll just say he's one of my oldest and dearest friends.  At this point, our bi-weekly texts to each other are 60% sports, 35% Sifl and Olly quotes, and 5% other stuff.

Got a letter about a fundraising event at his oldest child's school addressed to us in his handwriting and it just took me back to the winter of 98-99, getting his letters and pictures every week, and being in love for the first time.  It's like when Uptown Girl comes on the radio, it brings me back to dancing and giggling with my mom in the car when we'd listen to that tape.  Or when Lynyrd Skynyrd's Simple Man comes on the radio, it brings me back to singing it to Ace to make him go to sleep.

So what I'm saying is, don't ask me for dating tips.  I had a few meaningless flings, one long-distance relationship with a great guy that ended very well, then I was married at 20 to a man I was already living with after 2 months of "dating."  I have been on very few "dates," and they were all flops.  The best you're going to get from me is "take a shot of whiskey before the date," because whiskey solves everything.  Other than that, I really have nothing for you.  Good luck!