I need some advice.
I have a few dietary restrictions. The first is a complete intolerance to beef. Everyone has one or more things that they cannot tolerate after their gallbladder is taken out. For my friend P, it's lettuces and anything with a bunch of fat in it. For my stepdad, it's spicy food. Everyone has something. Mine is beef. It makes me feel incredibly bloated to the point of pain and I break out in some super sexy meat sweats.
The second restriction is that I gave up cheese for Lent. I gained back a LOT of weight on the IUD because I was starving all the time thanks to the hormones, so I ate handfuls of almonds so I wouldn't be hangry (hungry + angry) all the time. The IUD is goooonnnne, thank goodness (it also made my hair fall out and gave me acne. Yeah.), but cheese was comprising most of my diet and I know it's mostly fat so I gave up my 3 highest calorie indulgences for Lent - cheese, wine, and bourbon.
The thing is, eating at other people's houses has become an obstacle. Before Lent, most of the parties I was going to were cookouts so I could always bring something of my own to grill so I could avoid beef. The times I went to parties where I couldn't bring my own food, I'd always ask if there would be beef. There never was, but I always felt SUPER awkward asking.
Now I go to small group (Bible study) every Monday night, and the host almost always cooks a main dish and asks us to bring salad, bread, and dessert. These are some of my very closest, sweetest friends, and they've been totally accommodating to my beef issue and haven't made anything with beef for a whole year. Before I had my gallbladder taken out, I couldn't tolerate cheese, but I could just take Lactaid pills and be fine, but she always tried to make something without cheese for me. I've brought the main dish a few times but I'm nowhere near the cook the hostess is so I usually just meekly bring a Kroger dessert or something.
Today she said she was making stuffed pepper soup. They know I gave up cheese for Lent and were accommodating the last two weeks, but that sounds like something that could potentially be cheesy so I texted her and asked.
From a host's perspective, for heaven's sake, I'm a Mississippian now. I will accommodate my guests in any way. When I was part of several mommy groups when Ace was a baby, I'd always have something gluten-free for the kids with that dietary restriction, even though their moms would generally bring their own snacks. My mom has wheat, peanut, and orange allergies and if she's coming over I always make sure to have something she can eat and it doesn't put me out at all. If I invited someone over and they informed me of a dietary restriction, I'd make absolutely sure to cook something they could eat and would not mind at all.
But from a guest's perspective, I FEEL SO RUDE ASKING. I feel like I'm making my small group hostess go out of her way for me and I feel bad about it. I feel like my entire small group is having to accommodate me, actually, because if they want something cheesy, they won't get it because of me. I would not mind AT ALL making the main dish while I'm being persnickety about cheese, or just stopping somewhere and picking up something that just I can eat, but I feel rude by just asking if there's going to be beef or cheese in something that my gracious hostess is cooking for me.
So what do y'all think? Am I being rude by asking? Would you feel rude asking? Would you feel put out by a guest's dietary restrictions? Am I TOTALLY overthinking this like I do everything? Thanks for your opinions.
3 weeks ago