I have somehow contracted a case of the poison ivy. It started on my arms and has since migrated to my chest, legs, and stomach. It is really, really itchy. I found where the vine is in my back yard and have no recollection of ever being near it. I think Nimbus brought it inside. Like his days weren't already numbered. I hate that cat.
During an especially intense period of itchy desperation, I begged people on Twitter and Facebook for their favorite at-home remedies for poison ivy rashes. I got a bunch of pretty good suggestions. Bought some new cream, ground up some oatmeal for oatmeal baths, etc. I can't really say anything has worked.
However, your friend and mine, watercolor (washesofcolor.blogspot.com since I'm on my phone and don't feel like htmling), suggested I get the shower as hot as I can stand it and then run the water over the rashes.
I have become convinced that doing this is a sin because it feels just that good. I am taking roughly 3 showers every day at this point. When the water hits my rashes, it's like the best feeling in the world, times ten. Imagine the best physical sensation that can possibly be achieved by the human body. Yeah, I know what you're thinking, we're all adults here, and at this point, I think it's even better than that. I'm standing in the shower shaking my leg like a dog getting its belly rubbed. Moaning. Saying "thank you" to no one in particular. I even throw a "yes, God" in there from time to time.
I'm telling y'all, if you ever happen to be unlucky enough to contract poison ivy, never fear. Running hot water over it almost makes the whole thing worthwhile.
4 weeks ago