Sunday, June 28, 2009

Yeah, it's better than that.

I have somehow contracted a case of the poison ivy. It started on my arms and has since migrated to my chest, legs, and stomach. It is really, really itchy. I found where the vine is in my back yard and have no recollection of ever being near it. I think Nimbus brought it inside. Like his days weren't already numbered. I hate that cat.

During an especially intense period of itchy desperation, I begged people on Twitter and Facebook for their favorite at-home remedies for poison ivy rashes. I got a bunch of pretty good suggestions. Bought some new cream, ground up some oatmeal for oatmeal baths, etc. I can't really say anything has worked.

However, your friend and mine, watercolor ( since I'm on my phone and don't feel like htmling), suggested I get the shower as hot as I can stand it and then run the water over the rashes.

I have become convinced that doing this is a sin because it feels just that good. I am taking roughly 3 showers every day at this point. When the water hits my rashes, it's like the best feeling in the world, times ten. Imagine the best physical sensation that can possibly be achieved by the human body. Yeah, I know what you're thinking, we're all adults here, and at this point, I think it's even better than that. I'm standing in the shower shaking my leg like a dog getting its belly rubbed. Moaning. Saying "thank you" to no one in particular. I even throw a "yes, God" in there from time to time.

I'm telling y'all, if you ever happen to be unlucky enough to contract poison ivy, never fear. Running hot water over it almost makes the whole thing worthwhile.


Waterfall said...

Definitely orgasmic. It's the one and only good thing about having poison ivy.

(The bad thing is I heard that the hot water can make the poison ivy spread.)

Despite the showering bliss, I do hope the poison ivy goes away soon!

Dr. Wifey said...

did you try the bleach? LOL hubby swears by bleach - for everything.

Watercolor said...

Once the oil is washed off your skin, it won't spread. So the hot water doesn't spread it. It may just seem like it at times because the worst spots pop up first and other minor spots can take a few days to appear on the skin. It isn't "spreading" just taking a few days for the reaction to appear.

And just fyi, the poison ivy spots I got like a month ago? The spots are completely gone, can't even see where they were. But they still itch. WTF?! I hate that stupid plant.

i'm black betty said...

poison ivy and i are like oil and vinegar. we just don't mix. sending get well wishes your way. that stuff sucks donkey dong.

thank you for your help on saturday. i REALLY appreciate you.


Jen said...

I hope you get rid of it soon. I am glad you found some relief.

This had me rolling laughing.

Margaret said...

It almost makes me wish I was allergic just so I could experience this.

From the Doghouse said...

Now THERE'S a visual for you.

I'll never look at the movie with Drew Barrymore in it the same way again.

Allison said...

Where are you you blog neglector you!

Melinda Barton said...

Okay, I know you're suffering from the poison ivy from sheol, but we were promised Ace pictures. Get on it, woman!