Tuesday, June 16, 2009

*tap tap* is this thing on?

Hey y'all... yeah, I'm still alive. Now it's time to play catch up.

I graduated from my treatment program on Thursday! I am very happy about it and very proud of myself. I have learned so much and now I feel like I have the tools to face life without sinking into another depression. Plus, I've discovered my passion for photography and discovered a real confidence that I AM a good photographer. I have set a goal for myself to take 10 pictures every single day, and I'm going to start a photography blog eventually. In addition to that new confidence, I've told myself that I am not totally opposed to getting pregnant again in the future. I want to get to a more healthy place in my life first, but I'm actually considering it. Eventually.

One major change that you can actually see is my 30-pound weight loss. I'm pretty dang stoked about that. Here are some pictures of me kinda before and after. The first one is stolen from vipjacksonmag.com (THAT'S RIGHT Y'ALL I WAS IN VIP).

And this is from last weekend.

A 30-pound weight loss is freakin' amazing. I don't feel my gut all over the place now, my pants are falling off of me (okay, so that's not good), I'm finally fitting into an XL shirt... I wish everyone who is trying to lose weight would see a dietitian instead of trying weird diets they know they won't stick to for the rest of their lives. My dietitian has a blog, by the way, go check it out!

One major thing that's helped me with the weight loss is facing my feelings instead of eating them. Y'all don't know this, but I was just eating constantly and eating anything I wanted to eat. Any time I had any feelings... anger, sadness, happiness, anything... I would eat. This is not healthy at all. I have committed to myself to not eat emotionally anymore, because it starts a big downward spiral for me to stuff my feelings down till I'm completely out of control.

Now, in the interest of actually catching y'all up on what's been going on in my life, I'll tell y'all what we did for the memorial weekend for our daughter.

First, I went and got a tattoo.

Got a little work done on the angel, but the heart is new.

And then, Drew and I planted a lemon tree.

I can't wait to watch the lemon tree grow, and I can't wait to thank my daughter for every lemon we get from the tree.

I finally feel as though I've mourned her and laid her to rest. Finally having a memorial service for her was a huge point of closure for me.

So there ya go. I'll stop here, but the next post will be very picture heavy. All about Ace's birthday!


Kayra said...

hey, there you are! Glad to hear all is well with you. You should do a 365 picture blog, one picture you blog about each day. Looking forward to all of Ace's pictures, he is so adorable!

Sharon said...

You rock! Congrats on so many levels!
Completing your program, which, btw, I could just sense your peace you're feeling. I am so happy for you,k Stacey. Really. HUGS!

The weight loss-awesome! I am so proud of you. I know that's hard. I was near 200 lbs at the end of my pregnancy w/ Brennan. :( Lost well w/ Weight Watchers. I am grateful it's a realistic approach. I am a HUGE emotional eater, which is why I gained back 20 of those pounds when my dh started grad school last fall. :(
Anyway, you're not on the journey alone!
Looking forward to the pictures!

RhondaLue said...

Congrats all around!!!!! That's so great.

When my dad passed away last summer the most thoughtful thing anyone did for me was my friend getting me a gift card to a local nursery so i could pick out a bush, flower plant, or tree and plant it in his honor. I am also thinking of a lemon tree, or an orange that would produce fruit for us all the time. I think of it like my dad is still giving me something. I haven't done it yet though because our back yard is all white trashy lookin and I refuse to put it in until it's more respectable. lol

HEATHER said...

I'm so proud of you for losing the weight and recognizing your feelings about food, etc.

Waterfall said...

You are looking good! 30 pounds is a big deal--congrats, and all the best in losing more.

Glad to see you're blogging again! :)

Jo said...

Wow Stace... you look fantabulous! I lost 50 and don't look nearly as good as you!!

Great job... glad you have been able to get a handle on the emotions/ eating thing :)

Keep up the good work! I can't wait to see your photo blog :) I love your pics!!

i'm black betty said...


you rock.

Dr. Wifey said...

lookin' good! 30 lbs is awesome!

Mommy said...

Stacey, you look Grrrrrrreat!!! I agree with your friend above that a 365 picture blog would be great. It will motivate you to AT LEAST take 1 picture a day in case the 10 a day get to be too much for you. I can't wait to see your pictures and I hope they are all of Ace! lol! congrats girl :D

Jen said...

I wanted to tell you when I saw you Saturday night that you looked absolutely wonderful! The weight loss is AWESOME! :) And the peace of mind...that I totally understand.

You are beautiful and I can't wait to see you again. Ace has 2 more fans, my Mom and her best friend Renea have not stopped talking about him and they think he is the cutest, smartest kid this side of the sun! LOL!

We got in the truck to leave and Bobby said"what was the lil man up to tonight? Flirting with all the ladies?" hahahahaha He loves him. But, so do I! :)

love ya!

What?! said...

congrats! You rock!Amen to the crazy diet thing!

Watercolor said...

I meant to tell you Saturday that you looked great! But I was overwhelmed by everyone, lol. I am proud of you!!! You'll have to teach me what you've learned. hugs!!

Allison said...

You are a beatiful person Stacey, inside and out. I'm so proud of your progress with everything and I continue to keep you in my prayers.

LOVE YA - let's get together soon ok? For reals.

Melinda Barton said...

Hey, Babe. Just remember: You can do side bends or sit-ups, but please don't lose that butt... lol

Congrats! Now, Ace pics, please.

Margaret said...

You look great! Can't wait to see you in person. I was about to show up at your house. Glad you're back to posting.

Nicole Bradshaw said...

Love you, girl. And look at you! You're TINY!!

Laurie said...

So glad you're in such a great place - wonderful and congrats!!

From the Doghouse said...

I'm proud of you.

i'm black betty said...

so, uh...if you're still scrubbing grout, i could use some help. we put the house up for sale last night!!!