Hey y'all... yeah, I'm still alive. Now it's time to play catch up.
I graduated from my treatment program on Thursday! I am very happy about it and very proud of myself. I have learned so much and now I feel like I have the tools to face life without sinking into another depression. Plus, I've discovered my passion for photography and discovered a real confidence that I AM a good photographer. I have set a goal for myself to take 10 pictures every single day, and I'm going to start a photography blog eventually. In addition to that new confidence, I've told myself that I am not totally opposed to getting pregnant again in the future. I want to get to a more healthy place in my life first, but I'm actually considering it. Eventually.
One major change that you can actually see is my 30-pound weight loss. I'm pretty dang stoked about that. Here are some pictures of me kinda before and after. The first one is stolen from vipjacksonmag.com (THAT'S RIGHT Y'ALL I WAS IN VIP).
And this is from last weekend.
A 30-pound weight loss is freakin' amazing. I don't feel my gut all over the place now, my pants are falling off of me (okay, so that's not good), I'm finally fitting into an XL shirt... I wish everyone who is trying to lose weight would see a dietitian instead of trying weird diets they know they won't stick to for the rest of their lives. My dietitian has a blog, by the way, go check it out!
One major thing that's helped me with the weight loss is facing my feelings instead of eating them. Y'all don't know this, but I was just eating constantly and eating anything I wanted to eat. Any time I had any feelings... anger, sadness, happiness, anything... I would eat. This is not healthy at all. I have committed to myself to not eat emotionally anymore, because it starts a big downward spiral for me to stuff my feelings down till I'm completely out of control.
Now, in the interest of actually catching y'all up on what's been going on in my life, I'll tell y'all what we did for the memorial weekend for our daughter.
First, I went and got a tattoo.
Got a little work done on the angel, but the heart is new.
And then, Drew and I planted a lemon tree.
I can't wait to watch the lemon tree grow, and I can't wait to thank my daughter for every lemon we get from the tree.
I finally feel as though I've mourned her and laid her to rest. Finally having a memorial service for her was a huge point of closure for me.
So there ya go. I'll stop here, but the next post will be very picture heavy. All about Ace's birthday!
4 weeks ago