Wednesday, December 10, 2008

what kind of flu?

So Monday afternoon and yesterday morning, I was feeling a little dizzy. I attributed it to the fact that I'm still coughing from my last cold and moved on. Yesterday afternoon, however, my whole world fell down. Every time I would move my eyes to the left or right, my head would go all tilt-a-whirl on me. I was also very weak, couldn't stand up, couldn't walk right, blah. Drew, fueled by husbandly love and probably a few episodes of House, insisted I go to the emergency room. I came up with like 19 excuses not to go and he barely even paused when I said "I don't want Ace to be there during flu season."

"I'll call your mom. She'll meet you there." Dang.

So he dropped me off and my mom met me about 15 minutes later. By this point, I was walking like that one time I got super loaded on amaretto sours at Sharky's in Manhattan Beach, so the triage nurse threw me in a wheelchair.

Got back to a room within about half an hour (I love our little ER) and watched the heinous weather rolling through while I got some blood drawn by a dude who promised it would be like a "skeeter bite." Once he got the biggest freakin' skeeter needle EVER into my hand, he said "uh oh, your veins like to run away, don't they?" *rummage rummage rummage*

uuuggghhhhhhhhh

After a while, the doctor comes in and says in his best Cleveland from The Family Guy voice, "The blood tests are still being run, but since you said you have a headache I'm going to get you a CT scan." Okay.

CT scan done, blood tests done, tornado weather fast approaching... Dr. Cleveland comes back in and says "I'm tickled to say that your CT scan was clear. Your tests came back negative for the influenza A and influenza B viruses, but your blood count shows that you do have a viral infection of some sort so I think that you have a parrot flu."

I look at my mom, and she has no reaction, so I must be sicker than I thought. "A what?"

"Para flu. It's a flu that doesn't really show up on flu tests, but you have a good amount of flu symptoms, so that's my diagnosis."

"Okay, so did you say parrot flu?"

My mom starts giggling.

"Um, no. I think we'd better get you home and in bed."

I got my discharge papers as well as three prescriptions right around the same time as the tornado sirens started going off. Mom and I decided to wait till the worst had passed before we left. When I finally got home and got into bed, I had pleasant dreams of going with Susan to visit her adorable godson. He's seriously cute. In my dream.

Can't say I'm feeling better today, just slightly more well-rested. Drew took Ace to school then brought me breakfast because he's the champion of husbands, and my mom's going to pick Ace up and bring him home. I've already taken one dose of the good cough medicine, and I'm considering throwing back some Mucinex and Benadryl and Tylenol, making today the most pharmaceutical day I've ever had. Wheeee!

This is the worst time ever to be sick. I have SO MUCH to do today. Ace's school's Christmas party is tomorrow morning, and the parents' Christmas party to honor the volunteers is tomorrow evening. I still have to finish off the Christmas shopping for his teachers (which involves nothing more than going to get some gift certificates) and find a white t-shirt and make spanakopita filling and do a load of laundry. Instead, I have to either make Drew do all of the above when he gets off of work or beg my mom to drive me around later so I can pick up everything I need. Course, I'd probably walk into Newk's and ask for a white t-shirt and some spanakopita filling, but they'd figure it out, because it's Newk's, and Newk's is magic.

I have about an hour and a half before my kid gets home. Nighty night, my wonderful blog readers. I love y'all.

12 comments:

Kayra said...

I hope you feel better soon. Parrot flu, ha, ha.

i'm black betty said...

bwacck...polly wanna cracker.

i'm so sorry you feel like turds. sending well wishes your way, hon.

Dr. Wifey said...

i had the flu in february, but i don't think it was the parrot flu LOL hope you feel better SOON!

Watercolor said...

Do NOT infect other people! For the love of all that is holy and good! LOL!!! Stay home! Love you!

Eat your giant chocolate bar. :)

From the Doghouse said...

Parrot flu. Does that mean you'll be repeating what everyone says?

Hope you get better soon. And have plenty of drug-induced weird dreams.

mayberry said...

Hope you're feeling better soon! I love Newk's. It is so good that I don't live close enough to go to one every day.

Susan said...

Parrot flu indeed. That's got to be the worst kind. I can't imaging turning that particular parrot shade of green and squawking. Hope the drugs help. And for the record, he's super cute in real life as well. Just saying.

Nicole Bradshaw said...

Sheesh. You've been sick alot lately. Maybe you should be taking vitamin C or drinking green tea or something, hon.

Alice said...

oooohhhhhh noooooo!!!!!

Jen said...

DONT breathe towards Alice's house! LOL! She may have the parrot flu too. Yall keep that sickness shit all to yourselves too!

Hope the drugs do you good. Sleep well! :)

Emma B. said...

OMG, I would totally ask if I could do anything for you, except that I think I'm coming down with it too. Squawk squawk.

Melinda Barton said...

Parrot flu! ha At least it's not the ducky flu. That crap sucks! I hope you feel better soon.