Sunday, December 28, 2008

We're starting slow...

The Barbara sent us home many moons ago with a cooler she never uses. Drew made the cardinal mistake of not bringing it home the next time he visited, and The Barbara just let him have it. "It's my cooler, Drooo, ya need to bring it back!" This time he made sure that her cooler was in the backseat before we left the homestead... But it was the wrong one. "Drooo! Aaauugghhhh. How could you forget it again?? I want that cooler back, not this cheap styrofoam thing! You can keep that. Oh, Gaawwd.."

A few minutes later, while we were updating her on how our friends are doing, we mentioned that our friend's mom had to have her foot amputated because of diabetes. "You mean even though she's a nurse, she couldn't control it???" Wow.

The Barbara has two sets of neighbors, the Cs and the Gs. The Cs are maybe the absolute nicest and most welcoming group of people I've ever met, but I haven't spoken much to the Gs. Working family, 2 kids, kinda busy, not much time to get to know their neighbor's family. They've been on her bad side since Ace was born, since they didn't give us anything and she gave them a piggybank or some crap that she had needlepointed herself. They barely know us, but because of The Barbara's odd rules of etiquette, they were supposed to send us something when Ace was born. Now, however, these sons of dogs, these veritable scum of humanity... They had the nerve to have an amaryllis plant delivered to her house. "Even a bottle of cheap wine would've been appreciated... What am I going to do with this? I don't have time to take care of this thing." (It's not like she does anything. I don't know what she DOESN'T have time for...)

She has mentioned how much she "appreciates" the amaryllis at least 3 times so far. Really, she's quite incensed by it. "They couldn't even bring it over themselves!"

Now Drew is making a valiant attempt to teach her how to use her cell phone. He's having a challenge, though, because she keeps saying how she has no idea to use it.

5 comments:

Watercolor said...

LOL. It is like a cordless phone. Without the place to hang it up. And it takes pictures. And can live in your purse. heh.

Sounds like my grandmother. Nothing makes her happy. And if it would, there is STILL something wrong with it just to make sure you can't make her happy. Gotta just laugh and wash your hands of it.

Sandi said...

Now you know what to get her next year for Christmas.

Dr. Wifey said...

LOL sorry you have to endure the barbara, but i love reading about her. i can just hear her voice the way you write about it LOL

From the Doghouse said...

Skip the cell phone. With it, she can get in touch with y'all no matter where she is.

Koontah said...

put the phone on vibrate and shove it up her ass. then call her at all hours of the night.