Wednesday, June 25, 2008

dentist

Things that make a visit to the dentist's office lame:

  • A hygienist who likes to ask you questions that can't be answered with a "yes" or "no," THEN sticks her hands in your mouth.
  • A hygienist who asks questions that are wayyyyy too personal. ("Why don't you have more children?")
  • A hygienist who tells you that you should have more kids because "only children are brats!"
  • A hygienist who pokes the EVER LOVING CRAP out of your gums and then says "hey, your gums are bleeding, you should floss more!" (Heifer, I floss 5-6 times PER WEEK. You're wielding that pick thing like you're drunk and sitting on a Hawaii Chair. Get out of my mouth!)

Things that make a visit to the dentist's office awesome:

  • NO CAVITIES!!! Boom shakalaka boom!!!
  • A student hygienist doing her senior year observations telling me all about how she has bad teeth too, and showing me all of the scratches she got from walking around in the woods at her "pawpaw 'n mawmaw's house," and telling me all about the snake bite she got at her "pawpaw 'n mawmaw's house."
  • Dreeaammmyy dentist. I mean, wow. I'd be surprised if any of his clients were straight men. If Christy still did McDreamy Mondays on her blog, and decided to profile Jackson-area Dreamies, this guy could be on there like 3 weeks in a row and nobody would notice because they'd be all "mmahumminalalanumnum." Also, he's a highly competent professional.

16 comments:

Watercolor said...

Dang. See if you can schedule with a different hygienist.......

Dr. Wifey said...

now who is this dentist and would he be worth the drive from NC?

black betty said...

no cavities? hell yeah! :D

Stacey said...

Watercolor - I think this is the hygienist for this particular dentist. I'm VERY SCARED of trying new dentists - once I find someone who doesn't hurt me, I'm totally loyal. She's not going to scare me off, but I'm thinking about calling tomorrow to ask them to ask her to be a bit more gentle.

Dr. Wifey. YES. Amusingly enough, his name rhymes somewhat with "yummy."

BB - HELL YEAH.

Dr. Wifey said...

dr. dummy? tummy? mummy? LOL my GYN's name is doody

Watercolor said...

I love my dentist and his hygienist is fantastic! both of them. So if you ever need one, let me know. He's very gentle and funny, too. I am very hard to get numb and he is always very careful to make sure I am good and numb before he starts anything.

Watercolor said...

And yeah, I'd call if I were in your shoes.

Sandi said...

Dr. Doody. LOL

Susan said...

I never had a hygenist until I went for my usual cleaning this past January. My dentist always did my cleanings himself. He's in practice with his dad, who is now retiring, so he finally hired a hygenist to help him keep up the work load. His dad NEVER had a hygenist. Ever. Even when he was a one man shop. It was kind of weird having a strange woman cleaning my teeth. And yes, she talked WAAAY too much.

From the Doghouse said...

I like the "He's hot, he's hot, he's hot - oh by the way, he's also a decent dentist" at the end.

Supermom said...

How do you grow up to aspire to be a hygienist. EW!

Mine talked way too much too but I loved, loved, loved her... She put up with my dental phobias (don't ask). Got a call a couple of months ago reminding me about my upcoming appointment but oh by the way it will be with a different hygieniest because Nina is no long with us.

WTF? I've been going to her for years every 4 months too....

I freaked out so bad, I canceled and told the girl on the phone I could not handle that right now and I'd have to reschedule later.

Still haven't. It's been six months since last cleaning so I HAVE to do that... doing that right now...

mayberry said...

My dentist is cute too. He talks WAY to much though. I would rather just look at him than have to listen about his bluegrass band and fiddling techniques.

Jennifer said...

Oh.My.Gosh.....I am (almost) speechless after watching the Hawaii Chair commercial (....crickets...)---Ha ha ha ha! That is hilarious! "This is amazing!" Ha ha ha! Who the crap thought of THAT?

I sear, Stacey, you should write a book--The "mawmaw 'n pawpaw" story cracked me up! The pic I have in my head is priceless!

Jennifer said...

Supermom--I just read your comment and had to chime in one more time--hee hee! I went to school to be a hygienist and didn't make it all the way through--I had to observe dental surgeries up close and personal--My career ended before it began after seeing a woman have all of her top teeth removed--She kept talking to us with all of her little pointy gums dangling in her mouth. I about puked--Blehhh!

"Hello, I'm Jennifer....and I am NOT a dental hygienist." (I am, however, afraid to go to the dentist after the things I've seen. Thanks dental school!)

Emily said...

I have to get one of those Hawaii chairs! I totally forgot what the rest of the post was about!! That's awesome!!! That chair rocks!!!!

Jessaca said...

that hawaii chair is ridiculous!