Sunday, March 16, 2008

conversations with Drew

I happen to be one of the biggest chickens on the face of the planet when it comes to horror movies. I hate them. Ask Angie. Every time I give in and actually watch one, I have nightmares and have to sleep with a night light for weeks. The two things that freak me out the most are little ghost girls and zombies. So you combine my wholly irrational fear of zombies and my burgeoning love for photography, and out comes the following conversation.

Me: "Could The Night of the Living Dead ever actually happen?"
Drew: "...No."
Me: "Are you sure?"
Drew: "Pretty sure, yeah."
Me: "Pretty sure, or sure? Doesn't the Bible say something about the dead coming back to life in the end of days... or walking the earth or something?"
Drew: "Not... exactly."
Me: "What then?"
Drew: "It's true that only God could make the dead come to life, or maybe some far-off non-existent scientific advances, but not like zombie apocalypse."
Me: "So are you sure or not?"
Drew: "Yes, I'm sure. Zombies will not come out of graves like in The Night of the Living Dead. Why?"
Me: "Well, there's a shot I want to get in the Old Brandon Cemetery - a picture - and I can only get it at night, and I'm sure as hell not going alone, and I'm not going to go at all if some zombie's going to come eat my brains."
Drew: "I'm pretty sure that won't happen."
Me: "Okay."
Drew: "But just in case, bring the pistol."
Me: "WHAT?"

A few minutes of silence (contemplative on my side, baffled on his side) later:

Drew: "Now, are you talking about voodoo zombies? Because those exist."
Me: "WHAT?"
Drew: "No, no, it's something different. It's people that are totally drugged out of their minds, but mobile."
Me: "Oh, excellent."
Drew: "We're not in Haiti, though, so you're pretty safe."
Me: "Okay. Seriously though, no existing scientific advances could reanimate rotting corpses with cannibalistic tendencies?"
Drew: "No."
Me: "Okay."
Drew: "You know, this is how all zombie movies start, with this VERY CONVERSATION."
Me: "You're hilarious."

I doubt I'll get the guts to get that shot anytime soon.


Watercolor said...

heh. Take your posse. I think this gang of women could kick some zombie bootie if needed.

From the Doghouse said...

Get 'em tonight. It's not everyday you see zombies doing an Irish jig.