The interview

Y'all might wanna print this out and read it in the bathroom later. It's LOOOOONG. These are my interview questions from The DP.

1. You hate germs. You hate germy people touching on your baby. You posted a few weeks ago about people who did mommy drive-bys about Ace walking, but what happens when well-meaning strangers start gushing about your beautiful child and his big blue eyes and want to touch all over him? BTW his eyes are really blue. Your husband's are more like pool water blue but Ace's are much deeper.

It's gotten better over time. The first time I went grocery shopping with him, I tried to put a blanket over his carrier (he was sleeping) but then I couldn't see. I took the blanket down and a bunch of old women kept looking at him and smiling. I was so terrified that they'd touch him and get him sick that I just stood next to the lettuce crying and had to call Drew to talk me down.

Since he turned one without much incident, I've relaxed quite a bit. I used to use Purell before I would touch him, every time, or after I'd touched my face at all. I still exercise some caution, as does every mom, but I don't firehose everyone with Purell. If someone touches him and I don't know that person, I will wipe where they touched shortly afterwards. The people that know me best know I will cut a bi*** if they get my kid sick, so I tend to relax with them.

And his eyes are so awesome. Everyone asks where he gets them and I have no idea. Nobody in my family has eyes that color. The mailman does though.

2. Why do you think people love Fry Day so much (for the uninitiated, read her blog)? Is it because nobody wants to go to the mall, or is it our deep love as a nation for fried food? Or is it just getting to hang out at your grownup party house?

Our deep love as a nation for fried food. It's just fun to fry things, it makes everything taste better. Also, shopping really, really sucks, despite all the sales. Hmmm, let's see... get trampled by a crowd of people hypnotized by consumerism, or eat fried food...

3. Your most recent blog post talked about how you are not an issue voter per se, but you have two issues that are no goes for you in a candidate (will not mention them). So you're like a reverse issue voter. If you had a friend who was a single-issue voter, and your candidate had everything going for him BUT the issue your friend is a single-issue voter on, how would you convince him or her to come over to the dark side? (BTW I know the Mississippi primary has passed, I'm just curious).

My refusal to vote for someone who is pro-choice or pro-war is a moral one - I do not support the killing of innocents, not even as collateral damage, especially not in useless wars which have nothing to do with our national security and are essentially d*** swinging contests (we have to show them we won't back down!), and can't in good conscience vote for someone who is.

A lot of people like Ron Paul's views, but refuse to take him seriously because they are pro-war. I've had discussions with a few people over this - generally I ask them why they thought this war was a good idea, and if it was such a good idea, why wasn't it entered into constitutionally? Otherwise, I just ask them not to be single issue voters. Take the entire candidate into account, and decide what's most important - a good president and a good future for the country, or an unwinnable war?

4. Your cats obviously barely tolerate the presence of humans in their house unless food or trinkets are involved. How have your cats adjusted to Ace now that he is moving around? Especially Stella (BTW that's Stella's house y'all)?

Pez, Louie, and Nimbus don't care much about him. If he starts crying, they'll leave the room. If he wants to play with them, they run away. Stella, on the other hand, has made it very clear that this remains HER house, and woe be unto whomever disagrees. If she's sitting on the couch, Ace can poke her, prod her, pull her tail, scream at her, and she STAYS. Her ears are back and she's hissing like a madwoman, but she's staying right there, because she was there first, dangit. She's nipped at him once or twice, but only hurt him enough to make him pout a little bit.

5. You and your husband have the coolest group of friends from college. Makes me jealous I didn't go there (at least y'all didn't have a football team that is currently the suck). Even if one of your friends kinda doesn't like me too much. They're still cool. I miss my college friends (Joey if you still read this holler). What do you think is the secret to maintaining these lifelong friendships, even when you lived across the country?

Making the effort to stay in touch. These are the people that ushered me into adulthood and helped me understand that being me is just fine, and then watched me grow up. I will always care about them, and hope that they're doing well, and I will always enjoy catching up with them if we fall out of touch. Much like your first love, you never forget your first true friendships.

6. You get an extra one because I like odd numbers. You wear a lot of hats and have a very full life? What do you do to stay Stacey the individual?

I had to think about this for a while, and that's why I'm taking so long in posting. I don't really think that Stacey the individual existed before Stacey the wife and mother. I know, I know, let's make all the feminists gag simultaneously. I've always dreamed of doing what I'm doing now. I didn't have goals that weren't manifestations of social pressure - go to college and get a career, or you're a total loser. I decided when I was 8 that this is what I wanted to do, and when I first held a quiet, sleeping, peaceful baby, I knew I wanted to have lots of babies and stay at home and take care of them.

Being married to my best friend makes this life much more livable though - I think that if I weren't married to the one person I want to hang out with more than anyone, it'd be a lot harder to be a SAHM. I know a lot of women that just want to get away and be with their friends - my best friend comes home every night and hangs out with me.

Did you really just read all that? K, so, if you wanna be interviewed, lemme know. I have a hard time thinking of good questions, so it might be a while.