1. FryDay doesn't invite you, you invite yourself to FryDay. Email me at brast_smboo at yahoo if you need my address. Be at my house at like one or something. Unless your name is Tony or Holly, do not arrive at my house extremely early.
2. I'm not supplying everything. I'll get a giant pack of cheap plates from Kroger, some oil, and maybe some cokes if I'm feeling generous, but beyond that, it's all you. Bring your own beer, stuff to fry, cokes, whatever. I'm the worst hostess in the world, and I'm giving it all I got for Thanksgiving. On FryDay, I will drink margaritas and dip things in hot oil. I'm not hosting. Get your own drinks. Bathroom's down the hall, second door on the right.
3. Your only excuses for not playing beerball are physical limitations, pregnancy, or being referee. If you have physical limitations or a bun in the oven, you'll be on baby duty. If you have neither, you're playing. Don't be lame. Nobody cares if you suck at football. We all do. That's why we're engineers and accountants and stay-at-home moms. If you really suck, you'll mark the end zone or be a goal post. And just so you know, when teams are being picked? I'm awesome.
4. Do not come lookin' all cute. You will have beer spilled on you or you'll get a grease stain on your favorite shirt. You will leave my house lookin' a hot mess, you might as well come like that. Again, nobody cares.
5. May I suggest layers of clothing. The projected high for FryDay is fifty-freakin'-three.
6. Here are the rules for beerball. Learn it, live it, love it.
7. FryDay rules state that there is no 7th rule.
8. All things are fry-able. The strangest suggestion I've had so far has been fried cranberry sauce. There will be two fryers, one for savory and one for sweet. Do not confuse the two.
9. Drink all you want at my house, but DO NOT LEAVE MY HOUSE DRUNK, not even just a little bit, unless you're walking. Drinking and driving is not even remotely funny, safe, or acceptable. Stop drinking alcohol and start drinking water a good two hours before leaving my house. If you really don't want to stop drinking, tell someone who is sober (there will be several) and they will drive you home. This is one rule that will not be broken - if I think you're a little too buzzed to drive and you insist on driving anyway, your keys will be battered and thrown into one of the fryers. I don't care if you think you drive better after a few drinks, or you've done this before, or whatever. NO EXCUSES.
10. There will be fried Snickers bars. Deal with it.
Any questions? Drew, Dave, Rob, anything to add?
2 weeks ago