bionic baby

In the comments of another blog that I read, I lamented the fact that crotchety blue hairs respectable older women always know what's best for my child.

Wherever we go, Ace is in his stroller or in my arms. Mostly the former, because he's too doggone heavy and wiggly for the latter. When he inevitably tires of both, he gets fussy and I have to start pulling out the big guns to entertain him. Sometimes he gets pretty grumpy, as do I. Constantly chiding a child that doesn't know any better doesn't make either one of us feel better. I'm sure his fussiness and outright screaming annoy the crap out of everyone surrounding us.

I almost always get someone saying to him "You want to get out and run around, don't you?" Them, I ignore; they're not intentionally being rude, they just don't see a child Ace's age and assume he's not toddling - the Occam's razor response. I just kind of smile and laugh along with them and finish buying my coffee and get on my way.

Then there are the dried up hags elderly females that tend to say, snottily, "Why don't you let him out/down so he can walk around?" It's only happened a handful of times, and my normal response is "Oh, haha, he's not quite walking yet." Sometimes they let it go and get back to slowly withering away into oblivion minding their own effin' business doing whatever it was they were doing.

A few times they've said "Well, he should be," or sniffed rudely at me. I felt kinda snarky once and said "He's got cerebral palsy and is limited in his movement. Sorry to bother you."

Brilliant blog friend Watercolor suggested the following:

When they ask "why don't you let him walk" just say, "he's a secret agent bionic baby and I'm not allowed to put him down unless his FBI handler is with us." At the very least, you'll confuse them.

Yeah, I laughed pretty loud at that one. So what are your suggestions? What else can I say to get these cows charming women to bugger off BUGGER OFF?