Monday, July 09, 2007

Stupidest thing I've seen all day

Granted, it's only 8:30 am, but still. I'm quite unlikely to see anything more stupid today, unless I see Dubya ordering a Big Mac at Burger King while wearing an "I'm With Stupid" shirt even though he's all by himself.

In an excerpt from his book in The New York Times, Steven Landsburg demonstrates how we must have more sex to prevent the spread of HIV. After all, if sexually conservative and therefore likely uninfected people are having sex with other sexually conservative and likely uninfected people, that keeps them from going out and having sex with promiscuous and potentially infected people.

From the article:

Consider Martin, a charming and generally prudent young man with a limited sexual history, who has been gently flirting with his coworker Joan. As last week's office party approached, both Joan and Martin silently and separately entertained the prospect that they just might be going home together. Unfortunately, Fate, through its agents at the Centers for Disease Control, intervened. The morning of the party, Martin happened to notice one of those CDC-sponsored subway ads touting the virtues of abstinence. Chastened, he decided to stay home. In Martin's absence, Joan hooked up with the equally charming but considerably less prudent Maxwell - and Joan got AIDS.

When the cautious Martin withdraws from the mating game, he makes it easier for the reckless Maxwell to prey on the hapless Joan. If those subway ads are more effective against Martin than against Maxwell, they are a threat to Joan's safety. This is especially so when they displace Calvin Klein ads, which might have put Martin in a more socially beneficent mood.

[...]

... chastity pollutes the sexual environment by reducing the fraction of relatively safe partners in the dating pool.

Martin has no idea when he jumps into the "sexually liberated" category who he's sleeping with, apparently, if he's the kinda guy who's just going to take a woman home and schtup her, as demonstrated by the similarly sexually conservative Joan contracting AIDS from a one-night encounter. In one paragraph, this fool contradicted himself.

WAY later in the article, the writer comes to the insane conclusion that *gasp* condom use might just actually prevent the spread of AIDS. Well, ya know, color me surprised. But then he travels back on out into left field wearing a crisp new pair of crazy pants by proposing a government subsidy (a reward of sorts) for used condoms, because if you're using condoms, you are automatically being super responsible and the government should reward you for doing something you oughta be doing anyway. You thought your job sucked... collecting used condoms basically trumps whatever you do in the sucky job category.

People put a whole lot of faith into a really thin piece of latex, don't they?

Hey hey, I have an idea! Don't have sex unless you're in a long-term, monogamous relationship with someone that you're 100% sure doesn't have HIV or any other disease! Sexual restraint, folks. It's what separates us from the animals.

4 comments:

Melinda said...

I'm with you until the last paragraph. This person is definitely a brain-dead moron. However, your own solution won't really work. Unfortunately, a substantial number of the women who have AIDS believed they were in committed, monogamous relationships and had shown sexual restraint. Their husbands, on the other hand, were not so monogamous or restrained. I gave an AIDS education speech once where some women in the audience specifically refused to accept condoms b/c their men "would never cheat." The truth is that sexual abstinence is the only 100% effective method for preventing the spread of sexually transmitted diseases, but unless we plan on reproducing asexually, we're kind of screwed on that point. It would be funny if it weren't so damned sad.

Seth Whitehead said...

I thought thumbs separated us from 90% of the animal kingdom...

Seth Whitehead said...

I thought it was thumbs that separated us from 90% of the animal kingdom, and where monkeys are concerned, it was that we dye our hair....and shave..

Oh yeah, I also hate Captchas... But more on that later.

Christina Martin said...

Ok, I know I'm preachin' to the choir, but...

If Joan hooks up that easily, she will end up with AIDS eventually anyway. Then, when Maxwell, in the name of sexual charity, to protect Joan, has sex with her, he gets AIDS too.