Dude, why is it so hard to find adult education classes in this freakin' state? For crap's sake. I hear all the time, "Take a cooking class!" "Take a photography class!" "Take a French class!" Every time I lament my lack of knowledge in a particular specialty, somebody hits me with those gems. Well, if you're so smart, Smarty McSmartystern, FIND ME ONE. I've looked at colleges around here (and there are many, many colleges in the Jackson, Mississippi area), various community centers (Mississippians, I love you, but a library is NOT a "community center") and a few snooty specialty stores. Bupkus. Seriously, there's gotta be something.
No, I don't want to "continue" my education. I don't want to take math 101 with a bunch of skidmarked teenagers - when I was a teenager (sans skidmarks) I couldn't hack college. No, I don't need a master's. The only thing I could concentrate on long enough to "master" it is Ben and Jerry's S'mores ice cream. Or The O.C. I could get a PhD in The O.C.
I want to take one class, once a week, shoot, I'll even devote two hours a week to the cause. I want to learn how to read the manual for my sweet, sweet new camera, or just learn the basics... I don't want to take Zen and the Art of F-Stops. Teach me what a frellin' f-stop is, maybe, just maybe, I'll listen to your philosophy.
I want to take a class on how to dazzle my friends and family with my mad cooking skillz - I don't want to pay 45 bucks so some uppity ex-debutante can pour me a glass of zinfandel and teach me how to cook one very specialized dish that honestly, sounds like it tastes like doo. Strawberries Foster? Yeah. Gimme a decadent dessert that tastes like a smoothie. Yum yum, in my tum.
French classes? I wanna bone up on my conversational French, folks, not get a doggone master's. See above, I don't want to take freshman level classes so I can improve my French. I don't want to smoove chill with the shorties (or however kids talk these days, I have no idea). I'm not freshman material. My previous attempt at higher education crashed and burned - paneed, rather - I ain't doing it again. Can't I just spend a buck, buck fifty, whatever, and have a 6-week course without having to call Castle High to get my trasncripts?
I'm gonna open an adult education center with all of these things and more, right here in Brandon, Mississippi. Brandon will become the new interest-based education capital of this here fine state. People seeking education to satisfy their curiosity will flock here. Then, when I own the instructors, I will take their classes for free. WHAT. I'll learn all the stuff I wanna learn, then I'll start learning new stuff like How to Use Photoshop and How to Make Necklaces out of Pencil Shavings and Self-Defense for Today's Super Silver Senior.
Now if I could find local classes teaching Huge Startup Businesses for the SAHM, Saving Hundreds of Thousands of Dollars for Startup Businesses, and Stifling Pipe Dreams.
3 months ago
3 comments:
Millsaps has adult enrichment classes that sound like just what you're looking for. I took a couple French classes through them a long time ago, and a pottery class in 2000.
The Everyday Gourmet also has cooking classes, though they're one-night special topic affairs and are somewhat pricey. I'm doing a cake decorating class there on August 2nd.
Preach it, Sister! ha ha ha ha ha! I sooooo know what you mean! When you own Mississippi, shoot me a message and I'll move down to reap all the benefits!
PS) I have a degree in the O.C., too--sad...oh, so very sad!
Dear Stacey,
I know your pain!!! Does your county have an extension agent? Sometimes ours get really industrious and offer these kind of things. If your community has a newspaper they typically list their offerings(I don't think they know how to use the internet). Even though you mentioned that the library is not a community center, your librarians should be able to point you in the right direction of finding these things.
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