Now here's what I don't understand.

I just don't understand these divorce settlements where I see the less financially endowed spouse taking the "richer" spouse for all he/she's worth, especially when the less financially endowed spouse makes enough or possesses the skills enough to make themselves whole.

Take the Heather/Paul divorce. She's getting something like $64 million from the man, when she certainly has enough money and enough name recognition to make herself and her daughter very comfortable indeed for the rest of their lives. And Britney/Kevin. Kevin wasn't poor before he married Britney, and the man has enough raw, God-given talent to make himself a big star. A BIG star. Seriously, why is he getting so much out of this divorce?

It just doesn't make sense. Alimony was created to provide housewives with no marketable skills an easier way to exit untenable marriages. I understand the need for alimony, especially as a SAHM with few marketable skills. What I don't understand is why people who have the ability to make themselves whole again leeching every single penny they can out of their exes. Isn't that, by nature, vindictive and petty?

If Drew and I were to divorce tomorrow, I would probably ask for the car, enough money to get a nice place for me and Ace to live, and child support (because you know that so-and-so isn't getting my kid). I think that's quite fair. He can keep the house - it sucks to clean. Give me a 2-bedroom condo any day. I haven't been out of the work force that long, and could make a smooth transition back to secretary-land. In 10 years, when my skills have diminished and the clerical world has changed, it'd be a different story, but I still like to think I wouldn't be super vindictive and take him for everything. I think it'd be fair to get enough to get me back on my feet (since I'd have shoved all of my boots you-know-where) and then everything above. Why would I want monthly reminders of our marriage gone sour?

I just don't think it's healthy to rip one's ex-spouse off in the course of a divorce, I don't care what the offending spouse has done. I don't think it's fair to get money for every single year of the marriage, nor do I think it's fair that 10 years of marriage equals permanent alimony. It just seems to me that the cleaner the break, the healthier the break for both parties. I just think that if you're capable of getting right back on your feet, through your existing job skills or your own individual assets, you should seriously do that and not try everything you can to completely screw your ex.

Of course, it's not something I'll ever have to deal with, so I guess I'm just speaking from a high horse here. I'll just make sure he disappears; that way I get everything.