Thursday, September 28, 2006

Why do I talk?

Memorial Day, I had a bunch of friends over for a barbecue. Everyone asked how my pregnancy was going, and all glowing, I said, "Gee whiz, it's been the picture perfect pregnancy! Why, golly gee, I didn't have any morning sickness... just a touch of heartburn really! Deer eat out of my hand! Bluebirds alight on my shoulder and sing! My farts smell like roses!"

My water broke the very next day, I spent 5 days on my back and delivered a baby 11 weeks premature.

Last weekend, we had dinner at a friends' house. "How's the baby?" they asked. "Oh, gosh and begorah, he's luverly. God must have known that I have absolutely zero patience, so He sent me a very good baby! Did I mention the rosy farts?"

The past two days have been FREAKING SCREAM CITY. The child woke up today at 9, ate, and hollered his fool head off until he ate again at 2. He then hollered for another 20 minutes till I said screw this, you sit in your swing and scream. I put him in his swing and he fell asleep. I FINALLY ate, pumped, and thought I'd take a shower for the first time in 3 days. When I took his sleeping like the dead self out of his swing to put him in his crib, I said, hey, I had 4 whole hours of sleep last night, why not grab a nap?


Where did my happy baby go? Why do I, all of a sudden, have a baby that screams all the time? Did the colic just catch up with him?

SO HELP ME MIKE THE FIRST PERSON TO LEAVE A COMMENT THE LIKES OF "It's okay, you can let him cry for a little while" WILL INCUR MY WRATH.

Remind me never to be vocally positive about something ever again in my life because it generally turns around and CRAPS ALL OVER ME. It is only when I am negative that I get positive results.

Oh, and P.S., anyone who says that I should pump through all this can bite me.


Surviving said...

I feel the same way as well. It seems as though any time I am positive things turn out bad. With my oldest even my midwife had commented that things were going really well with my pregnancy. I had my baby 10 weeks early. With my second one, the doctor I went to kept telling me I probably wouldn't have the same problems again. I wasn't convinced but tried not to be too negative. I had my baby 8 weeks early and wasn't as sick as the first time. With this last baby all the doctors were convinced I would have problems again. I even took steps to be prepared in advance. My baby came 6 days after his due date.

I really think I would rather be negative and be prepared for bad things and happy if things work out than to be positive and end up disappointed.

Reformed Mama said...

goodness, i remember those days. i thought satan had come in during the middle fo the night and possessed my son. then i figured out that he was just doing what newborns do.

every mom of a full-term baby will tell you the first three months are hell. (sorry). well us lucky preemie moms get about double that time.

i promise it will get better. could he be going through a growth spurt? they do that a lot. they can seriously eat about 24-7. just keep offering him milk or formula -- whatever it is you have on hand. and when he sleeps in the swing, you should curl up on the couch and nap.

i am sorry it's rough right now. i promise it does get better. six months ago i was in your shoes and i wanted to send my son back to whereever he came from.

chicklette said...

One sign of colic is pulling his little legs up to his belly and kicking an awful lot. Also the colic cry sounds unlike any other cry, I can't explain it, but it is different than his other cries-higher pitch or something. Since my little man had colic I know it when I hear it. Did you start him on the cereal? That could be the problem, his tummy could be upset. A life saver for us was a hot water bottle. Yes I know it is strange, but just run extra hot tap water in it. Then wrap one of his little flannel blankets around it, and hold it to his tummy while gently jostling him. Not so much a rocking but slight, slight bouncing. It really sounds like a tummy ache that he has. Also there is a great product called "little tummies", an over the counter, anti-gas relief medicine. I would try that too. Try to stay calm if you can, I know that is absolutely the hardest thing to do. Especially when you are totally wiped out. Is there anyone that could come to stay with him for just an hour so you could get out and take a walk or even drive to the local ice cream or yogurt shop. Just anything to remove your self for a tiny break. I will tell you that colic nearly killed all of us-not the baby, but me, my hubby and my mom who lives with us. There were days that my mom was the only person who could get him to settle down and take a nap. You feel helpless because you can't make it better and make them hush. If you want to talk email me at

Melinda Barton said...

Stacey, I just have to say that I've been exposed to your gaseous superpowers and roses are the last things to come to mind! My advice: cortical node. Then you can just plug him into an alcove while you go about your day. Or maybe a maturation chamber?

Sherry said...

Try singing to him and walking around, bouncing him a little. They like that. Children's "bad" behavior can generally be grounded by diversion of one sort or another. Which is hard to do immediately while sleep deprived, but oh, the ultimate reward is so great. It's like planting a seed. Takes a few minutes of effort in the beginning, but it pays off in the end when the flower grows and blooms, and oh! what a wonderful feeling when it does.

Sharon said...

I agree w/ the other poster about the first few months. I always call it the "4th trimester", becaue it jsut stinks for the most part! For me it did, anyway. My kid wasso colicky I really thought I'd lose my mind. I think I DID for a while. He was so fussy and nothing seemed to make it better. Well, Zantac and Reglan helped a little, but people jsut didn't get it.
Hang in there. You're not alone! I promise ONE DAY you will get some decent sleep again.

Tony said...

It's OK, you can let him cry for a little while.

You should just pump through all this.

I have the happiest baby in the world! It must be that Catholic babies don't scream because they've been exorcised and baptized.

My baby just decided to turn over on his own on top of my desk while I was busy trying to lose a friend.... Neato.