Whew

I'm glad blogger was down when I got here yesterday, or y'all would have been hella worried about me.

I started running a fever Wednesday night, and people with fevers can't normally go into the NICU. I cannot express to you how horrible this was to me, especially since the fever kept going up over 100, breaking, making me sweat all over the place, and just tuckering me out. I felt HORRIBLE all day yesterday. The NICU's policy is that people can't visit if they've had a fever (or vomiting, diarrhea, or any other kind of infection) over the past 48 hours. I swear, yesterday was awful for me. Even worse than when I left on Wednesday, because at least when I left Wednesday I knew I'd be back to see him every single day. I didn't see my baby all day yesterday, and had no idea when my fever would go away and I would see him again. I'm telling you, there's nothing natural about leaving your baby at the hospital, and it's even worse when you can't see him.

So, I literally cried all day yesterday. And most of this morning. I felt horrible. I went to get the staples removed from my c-section incision this morning, and Drew had to drive me. Drew went to the NICU while I went to the doctor's office, and he was prepared to tell the nurses there that I'd do anything to see Ace. Paint myself purple, stand on my head, go camping with only a sleeping bag... They asked the neonatologist on staff, and she said that as long as I had gloves and a mask on, I could see him and touch him. My fever was only a little over 99 this morning, so I felt okay about seeing him.

I feel soooooo much better. I haven't cried in nearly 2 hours, and that's quite the feat for me. The nurse in the NICU said that it's pretty normal for my hormones to be going NUTS right now, and with all I've been through, and running a fever, of course I'm going to be crying.

Ace is the cutest thing ever. I love him so incredibly much - it's just amazing how I can love someone so much that not being near him can literally cause me physical pain. I thought it was hard when Drew went out of town. Ace sucked his thumb while we were there - Drew got a video of it. He pulled his cannula out of his nose too, bad little thing. He's up to 4 ccs of breast milk every 3 hours, and tolerating it pretty well. He hasn't pooped much yet, but the nurse said she's expecting a blowout any time soon. Better her than me :). I just can't believe how well he's doing. He's able to turn his head over, which is amazing to me. Thank you, God. You're so good to us.

GOSH I'm feeling better today than I was yesterday, y'all just would NOT believe it. I didn't want to talk to anyone, didn't want to do anything, didn't want to see anyone... nothing. It's amazing that just being able to see my son will turn my mood around in a second. I love him so much!