Friday, June 09, 2006


I'm glad blogger was down when I got here yesterday, or y'all would have been hella worried about me.

I started running a fever Wednesday night, and people with fevers can't normally go into the NICU. I cannot express to you how horrible this was to me, especially since the fever kept going up over 100, breaking, making me sweat all over the place, and just tuckering me out. I felt HORRIBLE all day yesterday. The NICU's policy is that people can't visit if they've had a fever (or vomiting, diarrhea, or any other kind of infection) over the past 48 hours. I swear, yesterday was awful for me. Even worse than when I left on Wednesday, because at least when I left Wednesday I knew I'd be back to see him every single day. I didn't see my baby all day yesterday, and had no idea when my fever would go away and I would see him again. I'm telling you, there's nothing natural about leaving your baby at the hospital, and it's even worse when you can't see him.

So, I literally cried all day yesterday. And most of this morning. I felt horrible. I went to get the staples removed from my c-section incision this morning, and Drew had to drive me. Drew went to the NICU while I went to the doctor's office, and he was prepared to tell the nurses there that I'd do anything to see Ace. Paint myself purple, stand on my head, go camping with only a sleeping bag... They asked the neonatologist on staff, and she said that as long as I had gloves and a mask on, I could see him and touch him. My fever was only a little over 99 this morning, so I felt okay about seeing him.

I feel soooooo much better. I haven't cried in nearly 2 hours, and that's quite the feat for me. The nurse in the NICU said that it's pretty normal for my hormones to be going NUTS right now, and with all I've been through, and running a fever, of course I'm going to be crying.

Ace is the cutest thing ever. I love him so incredibly much - it's just amazing how I can love someone so much that not being near him can literally cause me physical pain. I thought it was hard when Drew went out of town. Ace sucked his thumb while we were there - Drew got a video of it. He pulled his cannula out of his nose too, bad little thing. He's up to 4 ccs of breast milk every 3 hours, and tolerating it pretty well. He hasn't pooped much yet, but the nurse said she's expecting a blowout any time soon. Better her than me :). I just can't believe how well he's doing. He's able to turn his head over, which is amazing to me. Thank you, God. You're so good to us.

GOSH I'm feeling better today than I was yesterday, y'all just would NOT believe it. I didn't want to talk to anyone, didn't want to do anything, didn't want to see anyone... nothing. It's amazing that just being able to see my son will turn my mood around in a second. I love him so much!


Becca said...

I'm so happy for you, and I'm so glad that everything is ok! Just know that by keeping you away that day, they were ensuring that he didn't catch anything. :)

That is so awesome how you feel! I'll just live vicariously through you right now. :)

*big hugs*

I'll be around all weekend, give me a call if you need someone to vent to or chat with.

cncz said...

i am so happy that ace is here. now you have to tell me if i can eat his toes or not. that teaser picture was too much.
I want to call and catch up but everyone tells me that new mothers need a few days of downtime. I hope to catch up on the weekend with you!

shiksa said...

So glad to know you're feeling better - I can't even imagine how brutal it must have been to not be near that sweetie. Hope to catch you soon!

Terri said...

Stacey being away from your children is never easy! Remember my trip to Jamaica? My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Lauren said...

Feel better and be brave and tweak his little toesies for me.

Reformed Mama said...

Those early days in the NICU are the worst. It will get better. I promise.

Ace sounds ike he is doing well considering his prematurity. That's awesome. I hope he doesn't have to stay in the NICU too long and that you are soon back together with your little boy.

Surviving said...

Good to hear you are feeling better.

With my oldest there was one day I wasn't able to get to the hospital because I had over done things the day before and just couldn't get out of bed let alone get to the hospital. It was the worst feeling.

Try and remember to take things easy for awhile, even if you are feeling better. It doesn't take much to make it so that you can't get out of bed.