Sunday, June 25, 2006

I said, back, demon!

Up next on the docket of unhappy emotions: Jealousy.

Just got back a few minutes ago from seeing Ace in the NICU. Of approximately 12 babies, he and one other boy are the only ones not on a bottle or a breast. Mind you, I have no desire for my baby to accomplish anything before his time, as the reflexes involved in nipple feeding are not quite developed at his gestational age, yet I feel jealous that everyone else in the NICU has arrived as such a happy milestone, where my son hasn't. The nurse said 2 weeks.

I sure wish I were still pregnant. I hate that I started relaxing once I hit 28 weeks. Worry is an addictive thing... when you are in a constant state of worry, as I was during my whole pregnancy, and nothing happens, it's like a payoff. If it does, you can say, "I told you so," or feel as though you were prepared for the worst. But when you stop worrying, and something happens, it's like a punishment.


Surviving said...

I having the same problem. The hardest thing for me was seeing other babies come in and then go home before mine. I knew the babies leaving weren't as early as mine but it still made it hard to watch.

Vicki said...

Be gone jealousy. Poof! Go away! YOUR baby is the sweetest, cutest, and most precious in there. He is loved and cherished by so many people already. How many babies have that going for them? XOXO