Up next on the docket of unhappy emotions: Jealousy.
Just got back a few minutes ago from seeing Ace in the NICU. Of approximately 12 babies, he and one other boy are the only ones not on a bottle or a breast. Mind you, I have no desire for my baby to accomplish anything before his time, as the reflexes involved in nipple feeding are not quite developed at his gestational age, yet I feel jealous that everyone else in the NICU has arrived as such a happy milestone, where my son hasn't. The nurse said 2 weeks.
I sure wish I were still pregnant. I hate that I started relaxing once I hit 28 weeks. Worry is an addictive thing... when you are in a constant state of worry, as I was during my whole pregnancy, and nothing happens, it's like a payoff. If it does, you can say, "I told you so," or feel as though you were prepared for the worst. But when you stop worrying, and something happens, it's like a punishment.
1 month ago