For saleFree to good homeFree to abusive home filled with cat-hating future serial killers as childrenI'll give you
$5 $20 $100 if you take
and put into a wood chipper:
SweetLovingEnjoyableFreaking obnoxiousAnnoyingUglyGrey
DemonA-holeChild-hating Nazi sympathizercat.
He is
the worst cat in the known universe killing his owner's sanity the very spawn of Satan a spiteful, ugly beast a... grey cat.
His favorite activities include:
worshiping at the altar of his father, Beelzebub playing with toys meowing incessantly outside the door while his owners are trying to watch a movie, poop, sleep, eat supper, take baths, or simply relax and then running away the second you open the door to let him in meowing incessantly at the door, then 2 minutes after you let him out turning around and meowing to be let back in meowing outside your bedroom window at 2 in the morning so you'll let him back in, THEN RUNNING AWAY WHEN YOU GROGGILY OPEN THE FRONT DOOR sleeping, eating, and pooping.
Ownership must take place immediately
because I swear, if there is ever a wood chipper in my front yard it will take wild horses, a Valium, and strong burly men to keep me from putting him in it.
Please email me ASAP.
Perhaps you should install a kitty door so that he can come and go as he wishes. They make them now that are radio controlled and the cat wears a collar that will activate the door so that raccoons, skunks, opossums, or strange cats can't come in.
ReplyDeleteI don't have the doors for that.
ReplyDeleteBEST.BLOG.POST.EVER.
ReplyDeleteYou should send this in to one of the night shows or something.
ReplyDeleteROTFLMAO!
ReplyDeleteThis is why I love you.
ReplyDeleteThis is one, of many, reasons why I don't have cats. lol! You can't drop him off out in the country? NOT THAT I'D EVER SUGGEST THAT.
ReplyDeleteI. hate. cats.
ReplyDeleteFind a shelter, give no reason for the surrending of the animal and hope that some other sucker adopts it.
I love you. That is all.
ReplyDeletetoo bad there isn't a "like" button. lol
ReplyDelete